All Journal Entries Journals

Over it.

May 15, 2012 - 2 comments
Tags:

Anxiety

,

over it

,

Life



Well I finally got rid of my headache, but now it seems im back where I started. I always feel funny in my head I cant describe it but it's really getting to me, I just want it to go away. I just want to give up, I hate that I can't ignore this and it go away, I dont want to deal with it anymore :'( I am being so strong, I haven't cried in so long but today I want to because I'm tired of being strong I want my life back, I hang out with friends and family and all I can think is how much I hate the fact I cannot completely enjoy myself like they can.
When will this end, everyone keeps saying give it time and when you learn to deal with it, it will go away. Well I am dealing with it, I go out, I am back home now, I am looking for work, I go shopping even when I feel anxious! I dont know what the **** I am supposed to do now, I'm doing everything I was told to do and I'm getting no where.
So how do I get rid of this? Will I ever get rid of it, will I be myself again? or is this my life now? I'm still holding back with alot of things because i dont know if I can handle it. Should i just be doing everything I did before the anxiety?? I DONT KNOW....
I'm trying so hard not to be scared of this, sometimes it's too hard to ignore the feelings. I have ignored the scared feelings though, accepted them. I know I'm feeling scared and anxous and that's okay, feelings cannot hurt me, they will pass and I will be fine :), it work's works but then the feelings come back. There is only so many times you can tell yourself the same speech :(
I just dont want to deal with this anymore... I am well and truly over it.!

Comments
Post a Comment
2043993 tn?1450875078
by XxBrokenInsidexX, May 15, 2012
Hi hun, it seems like you are having a really rough time right now and I thought maybe a few encouraging words might help. It seems so easy and necessary to be strong all the time, but in all actuality it's important that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and that we allow those moments of weakness to prevail over our moments of strength. For it is the moments of weakness that make us stronger in the end. You have to realize that it is okay to allow yourself to completely fall apart and that it doesn't make you a weak person. In fact those who cannot succumb to their emotions are weaker than those of us who can. Unfortunately, anxiety is not something that ever really ends. It is something you and I and other like us will have to carry with us for the rest of our lives. But, I think with time we will learn how to cope and in the end things won't be so bad. However, it's important to realize that change doesn't come over night and it may take months, if not years to feel like ourselves again. You should be extremely proud of the things that you have been able to do even in the face of anxiety, you are a very strong person. I think it's important to take your time trying things that you did before. Allow yourself to enjoy all your accomplishments and remember that no accomplishment is too small to be celebrated :) I know you have heard all of this before but overtime it will become something worth believing. I want to leave you with a couple quotes to think about:

"Sometimes, being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall"
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think"
"We only have one life to live so we have to live it the best we can. Things in life my knock us down but it is our strength that builds us back up. Never give up and never give up on your life; it is beautiful"

I hope that you find comfort in my words and know that I am always here if you need someone to talk to. I am proud of the things you have accomplished so far and I believe that you are going to come out on the other side of this stronger than you ever thought possible. I hope you have a good day and enjoy the rest of your week :)

2092330 tn?1375362662
by AnxietyGirl2012, Jun 22, 2012
Thanks Hun
Sorry i havent replied earlier i actually havent been on in so long.
Your kind words have brought a tear to my eyes :') Everything you have said is so true days just get so hard and i try so hard not to fall apart but some days i just want to curl in a ball and let it all out. I cry so much now, it's not me at all i rarely cry but i guess it's all a growing and learning experience. Deep down i do believe this has happened to me for a reason, i believe i will eventually come out the other end a shinning star! Or so i hope anyway.

I hope you are well. Again Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me i really appreciate it :) You are a truly amazing person.

Post a Comment