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So scared!!!!!!!

Nov 14, 2008 - 11 comments

Ok...im just gonna spill it. maybe i will feel better putting it all out there to so many that have helped me threw so many very tough times in my life. I am so scared! So scared! I have been in and out of the hospital, been poked at and had test after test done recently. I am going in for surgery next Friday. I thought i had a bad kidney infection and it turned out i have ovaries that are loaded with cysts. Ok i thought i can deal with that. Sure i hurt but its fixable. My doctor ran some more tests and a few days ago at my appointment she sat me down and said a test came back"high enough to raise concern" and that along with all my other syptoms shes very concerned. Concern...concern for what i thought?!?! Ovarian cancer...........omg i still am processing. Honestly after that i dont recall much else that she said. Well i ended up back in the hospital last night. The pain and other things were unbearable. I received some advice to make sure i ask for an OB oncologist and i was going to bring this up on monday at the doctors when i go in so we can  discuss my surgery. Didnt have to bring it up....my doctor this morning told me she consulted with one and she is going to be there during my surgery just in case. Was this suppose to make me feel better?!? It actually scares the he** out of me. I still cant believe cancer is being used with my name. I am happy and very trusting with my doctor. She really is great and shes being very cautious. I am just so scared. I cant handle much more as far as stress goes. I am being crushed here! UGgggggg.....thanks for letting me vent.

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621290 tn?1226720261
by me1972, Nov 15, 2008
I dont quite know what to say, But I will say a prayer for you & for SOME ODD reason, EVEN THO I dont know you & this was just something Im reading online, I have a strange feeling that everything will be okay for you- Strange.... But I felt something while reading this.....  Stay Strong & Stay POSITIVE !  

371980 tn?1276740809
by bandnmom, Nov 15, 2008
Thank you. Those are two things i am definetly tryin to be.....positive and stong!! Thanks again.  :)

Avatar universal
by gizzy32, Nov 15, 2008
Jen, with all your going through right now and staying clean is a minor miracle. I will continue to pray for you and be there and i know it will all be ok. I wish i could take some of this pain away for you, but you will come out of this stronger then ever. Hang in there and keep trying to think positive. I am so proud of you and soon this will be behind you. Hang in there babe:)

435658 tn?1257805781
by bobby139, Nov 15, 2008
Jen I am so sorry that u r having to go though this..I know the pain and being so scared u cant breath..I have been there twice..I always had problems with cysts seemed like i always had them and some would rupture anyways twice they told me that i might have cancer...the first test came back fine but the second test about a yr later came back that it was cancer, so they did a hystarectomy and come to find out it wasnt cancer at all, it was abnormal cells that might of in time turned to cancer or it was from the cysts themselves they can give false poss. on the tests...My doctors told me more then 90% of the tests that come back as cancer when you have alot of prob w cysts are wrong.....I will say prayers for you Jen, try and stay as calm as you can and remember even if the tests comes back and it is poss for cancer like mine it isnt 100% till they get in there and find out for sure....good luck and god bless you...if u want to talk more with me i am here for you, i went though all that for 10 yrs....hugs debbie

611067 tn?1458591483
by HelpinUtah, Nov 21, 2008
I hope the test show that you do not have ovarian cancer.  Do you have a prognosis or diagnosis now that you've had the surgery?  

541953 tn?1262586226
by scaredmom330, Nov 21, 2008
my thoughts and prayers are with you bandmom, positive thinking is important. keep us posted and be strong.



hugs
Karen

371980 tn?1276740809
by bandnmom, Nov 21, 2008
Thank you all for the kind words. I was in the hospital since the middle of the night Saturday. I was out and started bleeding and was rushed to hospital. Next thing i knew i woke up in recovery and my mom by my side. It seems i started to hemorrage. Scary. My CA-125 levels they believe are from the cysts themselves bursting. During surgery they ran some tests and my cells are not pre-cancerous. Thank god. So the doctor said thats a very good sign! I have surgery scheduled again on December 18th. She is hoping to save both of my ovaries or at least one. One will be fine with me. So i am at my moms recovering. I am sore and then on top of it i had the start of a cold so from laying there pnemonia settled in my lungs. Uggg...so i just feel terrible and have been pretty out of it. Thank you again for al the kind words and thoughts. They are greatly appreciated.

483733 tn?1326798446
by TrudieC, Nov 21, 2008
I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time with this.  Cysts definitely hurt but the emotional pain and worry that goes with them is even worse.  So what did they do on this past surgery?  What was bleeding?  What are they doing in December?  I do hope all goes well for you and so glad we don't need to use cancer and your name in the same sentence again!

Hugs, Trudie

374251 tn?1246235657
by jessejames31, Nov 21, 2008
jen, you have been through so much in just the year i've known you, being able to stay positive is unbelievable. without knowing it, you've inspired so many people.  it's no secret that i've been seeking some sort of faith, i've tried to pray, i've read books about it but it felt like a lost cause, until now.  you are everything i needed to believe.   i'm so sorry that all this keeps happening, please stay strong and i'll be here for you if you need me.  jen, you're awesome, i'm jealous of everyone who know you personally.  i'm praying for you, love you,   -jesse james

599170 tn?1300973893
by Cherie762, Nov 21, 2008
Hey--I had both tubes and ovaries out a few months ago didnt fear cancer, cause my c125 markers were normal. what I can tell you is its an emotional difficult surgery, not having hormones just suddnely is hard to deal with, I am on the vivelle patch that helps alot, becarefull and fpllow drs orders to a t after operation, god bless and I will Pray its not cancer I have pretty good intuition and I have a feeling your gonna be ok.

Avatar universal
by Flutterby111, Nov 29, 2008
OH sweetie.  I will say many prayers for you!!!!  You are such a dear.  Be in control of you mind.  That's the only thing you can be in total control of.  So stay positive.  And for god's sake, please l consider alternative methods for treatment of disease.  These doctors are ruining us.  www.******.org
love,
flutter

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