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holiday first, some sad.. some happy

Nov 28, 2008 - 7 comments
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holidays

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family

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Pain



Thanksgiving 2008, was the first thanksgiving since my mom past last february. it was a hard day sometimes remembering things from past thanksgivings, but then we would think about something that woulkd make mom laugh or some crazy little thing she did we bring smile too all our faces. My dad had a terrible day and i really didnt put it into prespective untill we were talking and he told all of us that were there, this was the first thanksgiving since 1947, that he didnt spend it with his wife our mom. That really hit me thinking my god the first one in 60 years, hell i am not even 60 yrs old!! , and my dad has to get use to not having his partner at a holiday for the first time in 60 years.. That just blows my mind, most marriages today dont last 1/4 that long. mine only made it 18 years. so i just cant and will never understand the pain my dad felt yeasterday and what he will feel in a month from now on Christmas.. Right now the bright spot for our family is this was my granddaughters first thanksgiving and it will be her first Christmas.. LIFE CONTUNIES  to make me jsut shake my head....life is strange so strange....brian

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495284 tn?1333894042
by dominosarah, Nov 28, 2008
Holiday firsts after a parents passing is always the hardest.  I too cant imagine how your dad is feeling but it must be so devasting for him.  That is a long time to be with someone.  The little ones should help cheer everyone up during the holidays.  Nothing like the face of a child after Santa has been there.  Hold your mom's memories close and may you all find comfort in those memories.  Hope this finds you feeling better also.             sara

541953 tn?1262586226
by scaredmom330, Nov 28, 2008
I know the first holiday season after my father pssed was so hard. I didnt was to decorate the house or do any shopping. I wasnt in the mood and didnt care if we just jumped from october to January.  But that was my father not my spouse after reading your post, I just wondered how I would feel if I was your father. could I make it though the season with out my spouse, who knows everything about you, can finish your sentence. I think waking up in the morning w/o him being in bed would be the hardest.  my prayers are with you and your father during this time. take care, pm if you need to talk


Karen

599170 tn?1300973893
by Cherie762, Nov 28, 2008
life does run full circle beginnings and endings, its a very hard age that most of us are in our parents are all at the age that we dont know if they will be here for next thanksgiving, I had that very thought yesterday about my father in law and my Dad.Then I got to meet my nieces new daughter Reese 3 months old, Great Granpa held her ever so gently with his crippled artretic hands, what a lovely moment.
Your Mom would likely be very happy that the family still gathered Brian,Thats important to all Moms, if my boys remain close and friends as adults I will consider my job well done.   Peace be with you.......Cherie

460185 tn?1326077772
by lonewolf07, Nov 30, 2008
The first Thanksgiving or Christmas after losing a parent is the most difficult.  The pain dulls with time but I'm not going to even hint that it isn't very, very hard to celebrate a special occasion without a parent who was always part of it.

This is going to be another Christmas without my estranged daughter which is still painful but this is jollyman's journal so I'll just say I hope you get through it alright and you can PM me if you ever want to talk.  Both my parents have passed on so I've been through it.




547368 tn?1440541785
by Tuckamore, Nov 30, 2008
Brian I am so sorry for your loss and your Dad's loss. Sixty years sharing life with the same partner and now they are gone. It must be so difficult for him. Marriages are disposable now days. Sixty years ago most mated for life. Your Mom accomplished a lot, she raised a fine son in you and keep her marriage together for sixty years. I'm sure she was very proud of both those facts.

And life is a cycle. One generation leaves and the next one takes over, rather we like it or not. At our Thanksgiving table we had our 11 month old grandson and my 80 year old dad. We are born to die. I still have both my (divorced) parents but they are not well. Both their (second) spouses have passed on. They have a loneliness and emptiness that I cannot fill. I care for both of them in my home and am grateful for them every day. I feel your pain.

Gentle (((HUGS))) to you, Tuck

Avatar universal
by Brenndy, Dec 14, 2008
Hey Brian,

I just read this journal.  Are you okay?  I'm so very sorry....I'm at a loss for words.
While I don't fully understand the impact (having not experienced it firsthand), I do know, you are strong, as is yours, and you WILL get through this.  Life ***** at times....and this is certainly one of far too many.

I'm perpetually here for ya.  Hope you know that*.

549511 tn?1271775930
by kitty51, Feb 01, 2009
The 1st everything is the hardest,then it lessens, but just think that you and your kids and grandies wouldnt be here without your Mum and Dad,they started it all.Your Mum is still around you just cant see her,but i am sure that you can feel her presence and hope that you do,and i do know what its like,think of her life and not her death and that will lighten the load.

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