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I Hate the Holidays this Year

Dec 07, 2008 - 9 comments
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holidays

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Depression



I know I'm depressed when I could give a shite about Christmas festivities.  We had to cancel all giving this year, which isn't the issue.  That actually gives me a sense of freedom for a change.  I usually get the biggest kick out of putting up the lights and having friends over and playing bells at church and all the other things that revolve around the holiday.

This year, I've had it.  I cannot drum up one bit of... anything.  Just came in from trying to put up some exterior lights and gave up after discovering a third of them died while in storage since last year.  I wasn't planning on getting Hubby to drag down the moving and lighted reindeer set with the sleigh either - just lights.  I got so frustrated I just threw the lot away in the trash bin.  Again, I could give a shite.

I need to go see my shrink, but can't afford the co-pay.  This is so weird.  I haven't felt this depressed at Christmas since my Dad was dying of cancer in 1993.  That year I got so POd with the lights and neighborhood kids tromping all over them that I literally pitched a fit.  Screamed and yelled and took the hedge trimmers to all the light strings - in the front yard.  Dad loved it when I told him about it.  At least I gave him one last belly laugh.

I made it a point to get my rear end in church this morning, this being the first Sunday of Advent.  I left in the middle of the sermon.  Instead of focusing on the "reason for the season" the church is drumming up support for a debt-relief/ money raising campaign.  Frankly, I'm disgusted that the campaign continues during this season.  The church has been trying to attract new members, and Advent is when many people visit new churches.  What do they get at my church?  Money money money!!!  Gimme gimme gimme!!!  I am thoroughly disgusted.  The entire service was all about giving, who has given, and how much.  They even incorporated it into communion!  "Please leave your pledge cards on the communion rail..."  Am I the only one who finds that even remotely offensive?

Guess I'd better end the rant.  I feel worse for the writing of it.

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Avatar universal
by suzi-q, Dec 07, 2008
Hey, we all need to get it out.  And I can understand how the frustration of the world today can get to someone.  What happened to the earlier days?  The more simple days?  What happened to the days where Jesus and Church were the center of Christmas?  And the Church ALSO had Christ as the center instead of money, money, money......remember when you used to go to Church to hear about God's word and not the economy?  It used to be a place to go to find peace....now in many Churches it is just a continuation of the problems outside of it.

Remember when a little tree with a few lights and a wreath on the door were enough?  Everything today is so commercial and we have gotten so far away of the true meaning of Christmas....and the true meaning of LIFE.

I understand your rant and your frustration.  I hope that you can find in your heart what you are missing.  And I think that is the peace and love and friendship that this season is supposed to bring....I am thinking about you and hoping that you find your way through all of this....

Suzi

PS:  I watched "Its a wonderful LIfe" last night...that always helps gettting back the true perspective of the season...also, don't forget "A Christmas Carol"....some of the good lessons in life will live forever.

203342 tn?1328737207
by April2, Dec 07, 2008
You're not alone. I've been a little depressed this holiday season, too. I usually love Christmas (but not all the hype). I haven't even drummed up the energy to do my Christmas cards yet. We did get the tree up. Still haven't done the Christmas cookies with the kids yet or anything. I just don't seem to have any energy.

One thing I do still enjoy is church. It's too bad your church didn't focus on the Christmas message. Our pastor took a break from preaching from the book of John to start in Luke today. I love this church! We've been going for a little more than a year now.
Maybe you should look for a different church? Or at least talk to the pastor and share your disappointment that they didn't focus on the Christmas message. I don't know. I think that's what I would do.
Maybe you've outgrown this church. If you feel you are no longer being spiritually fed there then you should look elsewhere till you can find the right fit. You should always walk away from church feeling better than when you first went in.
Just something to think about.
I hope you're feeling better, health wise. I know you've had a rough time this last month or so.
God bless you,
April

704997 tn?1228795922
by termlesshealer, Dec 08, 2008
One big kiss and hug to you from Sunny, warm and spiritualy up lifting Mexico.  Yes I am an Expat for many reasons.  The important one is peace of mind, spirit and well being not to over look the pocket book.  Things were a lot difficult for me in the states and I did not see things getting better as I aged.  I'll be 63 this month and I will never regret my move.  My Mother died Christmas Day and if I am alone it's O.K., I have many good Christmas's to remember.  I also can go to the beach and talk with God as he sets the sun gently into the water.  Not bad....perhaps a trip to Mexico for Christmas might cheer your heart and soul.  Come visit me and make your own mind up....contact me thru my sign in name Termlesshealer
Happy Holidays,
God always carries you when you are too tired or weak

Love and best wishes, Sandra

552394 tn?1224298283
by kitnkate, Dec 09, 2008
you deserve to rant all you want. I lost my dad in 1993 on Dec 16th. My brother died in October so the holidays are hard. This year after my 2 major surgeries and only eating liquids yet I am not in any mood for the lights and the food. I am just shot with all of it. I know I need to get it together. You had that hard Thanksgiving. I had my whole family here and could not eat a bit. I feel so like I don't live on the same planet as most people. Thing is I cooked it all!
Well, try to remember we care about you and I know that even the Church sends out bad messages somedays. That is when I look up a few motivating scriptures down and study them so the Lord is with me that way.
Love,
Nancy

82861 tn?1333453911
by Jaybay, Dec 13, 2008
Thanks so much to all of you.  :-)  As the week has passed I'm doing a bit better every day.  I'm playing handbells for nearly every musical part of the church service tomorrow morning.  Can only hope they lay off the fundraiser business - at least a little bit! - this time.  I'm getting bombarded with mail from the church because I haven't turned in a pledge card.  My pastor knows our financial situation very well, but obviously the office doesn't.  We're having a hard enough time keeping the "no Christmas gifts" pledge much less pledging to a 3 year campain to raise over $3 million dollars for the church.

I really do like our pastor.  He's only been here a few months and inherited a broken congregation with broken finances from the previous pastor.  I was baptized at this church and after all these years I can't give up on it without a fight.  I can either take my Bible and leave, or I can stay and try to make it better.  We'll see how it goes.  

We actually had SNOW here in Houston a couple days ago.  How freaky is that?  Four years ago we actually had over an inch on Christmas Eve.  Ummm... what was that BS about global warming?  ;-)

I have a notation on my calendar for this Monday to call my shrink and make an appointment for after the new year.  Woo hooo!!!  Back in therapy!  I love my therapist; we hit it off right from the first visit over 3 years ago.  If you've ever gone through depression, even a little thing like making an appointment seems like climbing a mountain.  Actually going is like going to the moon.

Still haven't even bought Christmas cards this year.  Don't know if I'll even do them at this point.  Time will tell...

547913 tn?1317355667
by jimi1822, Dec 13, 2008
                                                                          Peace.
                                                         it does not mean to be in a place
                                                         where there is no noise, trouble
                                                         or hard work. it means to be in
                                                         the midst of those things and still
                                                         be calm in your heart.
                                                                                                ~ Unknown


                                                May GOD grant you peace, love, compassion, respect, and Light this season!!!

                                                                                                                       ~ jimi :o)

541953 tn?1262586226
by scaredmom330, Dec 14, 2008
I am will you this year, not in the mood. not putting up any decorations, sending out cards or any of it. WE are going home for Christmas only because of the kids and grandbabies. if not for them, I wouldnt go back to IN where it's so cold. I think we all are intitled to not be in the mood every once in a while. dont beat your self up over it.

675347 tn?1365460645
by ginger899, Dec 17, 2008
I'm trying to be in the mood.....even went so far as to spend 1.30 on gold spray for some pine cones!!  Found a pine tree blown down in the woods, and sawed the top off it (Free Christmas tree!!) Cynical about the spend spend spend Christmas hysteria, as usual. I love Christmas, love a secret innermost-heart feeling about it (mostly made up of fantasy/slightly dreamlike childhood memories) Try always to remember what it really is all about: ie Jesus Christ, and heartfelt stuff among our fellow Humankind.....
But I am so not into the commercial madness Christmas has become. Or the empty social obligations/drinking too much/eating till you can't move/having to dash about till your brain's numb.....etc
I do what I have to, make sure presents are sorted, food's in, that kind of thing. Then get a scented oil hot bath going, play carols in the background, dream a little. Let everyone else go crazy!!
This Christmas I'm staying home with my dog! One visitor Christmas Day. Leave it at that.

82861 tn?1333453911
by Jaybay, Dec 17, 2008
Can I come to your house ginger?!  I promise I'm housetrained and won't bark or beg at the dinner table.  :-)

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