Jun 26, 2012
These last few days have been a huge rollercoaster and I don't think we are done yet...
After my negative HPT, my bloods from yesterday (9dp5dt) have come back positive but very low, only 22iu. The hospital want me back asap today to have more bloods taken to check the levels.....
I'm struggling to get my head around being told it was positive....and terrified its being taken away from us already! I am literally still shaking from head to foot, what an emotional mess I am!
Is there anything that can be done to help make a little bean implant better, or is it too late?
Still waiting on the results of my 2nd beta (done 24 hrs apart) and I have a really bad feeling :-(
I've awoke feeling odd...less sore than yesterday, less tender boobs and I dunno...just a feeling deep down that this little bean just didn't get it's chance and its over before it properly began. I feel almost relieved to know that we can get pregnant....albeit for a very very short time! I know Im not being optimistic, but I'm trying to be realistic too and not set myself up for a massive fall when I know, based on the facts, that there isnt much hope.
The waiting is a little annoying now....I could phone the clinic and get a nurse to tell me, but Im a scaredy cat lol, and would rather not hear this news over the phone and instead have my consultant email me.....
Sat 30th June
So today I am 14dp5dt (19dpo) and I still don't feel pregnant! Every morning for the last 3 days I awake to cramps which I can't tell if are period like or cause I need to move my bowels. But each day it seems to fade once I have been to the loo, so I'm praying it's only that!
Went to see my acupuncturist last night and although she knows our numbers desperately need to improve come Monday's beta, she could tell by my uterus contracting that I am, for now, definitely pregnant :) I'm still scared to say it, and have told only 1 of my sisters (I am so close to my large family) but I don't think it's the right time to tell anyone else until we know how the pregnancy is doing. I'm scared....and excited too....
Am going to do my digital clear blue test tomorrow morning....I will update how we get on!