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Don't Ask a Retiree a Dumb Question - HAHAHAHA!!!

Jan 13, 2009 - 9 comments

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's A$$ and a car hit us both.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Author: Anonymous

Comments
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365714 tn?1292199108
by MJIthewriter, Jan 13, 2009
Wow. That's quite a story.  I like the answer the author gave.

I've had a few Walmart stories of my own...

203342 tn?1328737207
by April2, Jan 13, 2009
I love it! Thanks for the laugh! :D

340590 tn?1290952141
by cathy5841, Jan 13, 2009
hahah that was funny...

Avatar universal
by NautyOne, Jan 13, 2009
hahhahhhahahaaaaaaaaaa  That was good.....whoever anonymous is.......^5

460185 tn?1326077772
by lonewolf07, Jan 13, 2009
Wal-Mart probably wanted Anonymous to buy Ol' Roy - the Wal-Mart brand.  Don't some seniors have such a low income that they have to eat dog food?






495284 tn?1333894042
by dominosarah, Jan 13, 2009
Now that is a good one!!!!!!



587315 tn?1333552783
by zodiacqueen, Jan 22, 2009
Thanks for the laugh-boy did I need that today!  Actually, that's how I usually answer dumb questions!

Avatar universal
by teko, Jan 22, 2009
Have you ever laughed so hard that you started coughing? Even mole (hubbie) chuckled at that one! Then he told me he gonna take the laptop and thro it out in the driveway and run over it! lol

541953 tn?1262586226
by scaredmom330, Jan 22, 2009
I need to laugh today...thanks so much!!!

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