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Feb 03, 2009 - 2 comments
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I'm awake cuzs I couldn't breathe. I coughed stuff up and it's better. Haven't used my inhaler yet today. I'm super frustrated cuz I can't use the pc everyday due to my problems, so i'm not tracking anything well, The worst of it isn't even being recorded. My head hurt so bad yesterday. I wore my patch and put white flower all over my face. Today my neck, esp at the base of my skull is itching and it's clean; I just washed it and lotioned it. Scratching it does no good, but I just want to claw it till it's raw. With my headcahe yesterday my head was pulling down to the left and my shoulder was pulling up. I took a klonopin and it helped me to relax. I fell asleep after a few hours of sobbing quietly. I did have a few hours after getting up that morning where I made new calendar sheets and swept the bathroom floor.
Sunday my ab pain was too bad to get out of bed most of the day. I managed to brush my hair and teeth and change underwear; that's it. That's all I could do before the pain forced me back in to the fetal postion.
Saturday night Sean had Adam come over. The pain in my right side and leg andback was so bad I was screaming and crying in front of him; that's new. usually Adam just gets told we have to cancel cuz I'm not feeling well. Now he knows what not feeling well actually means. He's going to make me an ambient music cd. It was really touching to have him be so upset over my condition that night. I was more thankful to have someone care that much for me than I was embarassed to be wrthing and screaming and looking like a retard. I took one and a half pain pills that night, double does of nyquil, and fianally managed to fall asleep after the pain spiked, rolling up mountain peaks like 3 times. Even tho I was doing nothing but lying there in bed on my pillows. What started it all was getting up to pee once. Sean helped by moving energy, but couldn't keep up with as mucha s I needed it. He also tapped on my right side when I was laying on my left adn that helped keep me from writhnig, which is good, cuz all that involuntary writhing just makes the pain spike higher.
Multiple Sclerosis Tracker
Sunday my ab pain was too bad to get out of bed most of the day. I managed to brush my hair and teeth and change underwear; that's it. That's all I could do before the pain forced me back in to the fetal postion.
Saturday night Sean had Adam come over. The pain in my right side and leg andback was so bad I was screaming and crying in front of him; that's new. usually Adam just gets told we have to cancel cuz I'm not feeling well. Now he knows what not feeling well actually means. He's going to make me an ambient music cd. It was really touching to have him be so upset over my condition that night. I was more thankful to have someone care that much for me than I was embarassed to be wrthing and screaming and looking like a retard. I took one and a half pain pills that night, double does of nyquil, and fianally managed to fall asleep after the pain spiked, rolling up mountain peaks like 3 times. Even tho I was doing nothing but lying there in bed on my pillows. What started it all was getting up to pee once. Sean helped by moving energy, but couldn't keep up with as mucha s I needed it. He also tapped on my right side when I was laying on my left adn that helped keep me from writhnig, which is good, cuz all that involuntary writhing just makes the pain spike higher.
Multiple Sclerosis Tracker
I'm sorry to hear things have worsened for you but you are figuring out some coping skills and have some support. Never be ashamed of who you are or think that your physical disability makes you any less of a person. Encourage the people who respect you and treat you a supportive fashion and always respect yourself for who you are no matter how disabling the experience may be. Along with any physical recovery comes a sense of self acknowledgment and understanding. On the practical side of things if you have this much trouble getting around you might think of applying for a home attendant if you haven't already. Anything you can do to improve your quality of life in a positive and constructive manner is worth it.
Thanks for your concern =] I'm coping as best I can. Sometimes I really do feel like less of a person due to what I go through, so it was well worth stating that my embarrassment was at a minimum at a time I was incapacitated. I sure have learned a lot about myself through it all. As for a home attendant, my brother lives with me full time and my boyfriend's hours are 1-7 weekdays and 12-5 weekends, so I am so lucky to have him as much as I do. I just do what I can do when I can do it and live one day at a time, never making plans so never getting let down. =] <3
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