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February 6, 2008    Sandy Grace is gone now

Mar 12, 2008 - 0 comments

by aggieone

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51 years old
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Journal Entry:   "Cissy (Sandy Grace) is much worse from mi..." [Read]

, Feb 07, 2008 06:02AM
To: my dear supporters
Sandy Grace is gone now.  She left on her own at 4:45 yesterday morning.  Our prayers were that she would go on her own.  I was holding her when she left.  The worst night we had together, I finally gave up the attemp of giving her any liquids what so ever around 2:00 a.m.  I held her while she threw up time and time again, as she was so weak she could not stand on her own.  My last words when she  vomited  for the last time were, Lord have mercy on her.  She left us just after that.  I called my vet early that morning to tell him Sandy had left on her own, and he said that was the best thing that could have happened.  Soon, I will share with all of you her last minutes, but I just can't right now.  Cissy was a big yellow lab with a heart of gold.  The biggest brown eyes you have ever seen.  Our home seems so empty without her.  First time, we came back in the door and she was not there to greet us.  I feel so alone without her right now.  I see her all over our house, As exhausted as I was,  I could not sleep last night, I kept waking up to check on her.  Did I try to keep her too long, was I selfish?   A million thoughts are in my head and heart now,  trying to sort through them.  I have relived her death thousands of times.  I feel myself pulling away from Bubber (Charleston Hershey) as I have nothing to give right now.  I love Charleston as much as I love Cissy, but I can't seem to be mama to him right now.  He needs love and support too in his grief for his sister.  My husband is lost without his baby.   We have a lot of support  in our family and friends, but we feel so alone without Cissy.  She loved her "bankie",  when she was able to still stand and walk, she would hold her tail up to maintain the blanket, when she laid back down, she still had her bankie.  If she wanted the blanket off, she would drop her tail and keep walking until it fell.  How many times I have relived those moments with her bankie.  Oh what a personality she had.  Sandy Grace smiled a lot-I have a picture of her smiling,  I will send when I can get my head together--that is how I want to remember her, smiling-but right now,  I can't seem to think of anything but the  last six weeks that she has been through.  Could I have done anything else,   Will be back in touch to share more, I have found new friends who know what we are feeling right now, and there is no words to tell you how much we appreciate your caring and the support .

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