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BFP shock!

Jan 19, 2013 - 7 comments

well Lilly will be 4years in 3 weeks, Iris is 11months, we have our wedding booked for Aug this year and are moving house in May, and was planning on enjoying life as a family for 4 for the next good few years!
well i dont know how the hell it happened, i was on the mini pill, im breastfeeding Iris, iv got pcos and a tilted cervix but iv just found out in pregnant again!
im about 6 weeks, i spoke to my dr and they scanned me and said that every thing looked 'normal'
im so scared though! i was not planning on having any more children for a long time, we have NO money at all, we worked out i wouldn't even beable to have time off with the baby when its born!
Im most worried about Iris, she will only be 18months old, shes a very sensitive child and is very close to me, i dont know how shes going to find it all, as i know how much time a new baby takes up and i dont want to lose my bond with her and this scares the hell out of me, she had such a rough time getting into the world and i feel so protective of her because of this, i dont want anything to ruin the amazing bond between us!
Lilly i know will be fine, shes the best big sister to Iris and we have a great relationship and shes so easy going its unreal!
obvs we will now have to move the wedding as baby is due around the wedding date so i was thinking of moving it to Oct time, im so worried about fitting in my already made dress though and also telling the family as they have all put so much into the wedding!

im just worried about how i feel, iv spent years wanted to be pregnant after 5 losses etc... iv finally got my girls and i was happy! i feel awful saying it but i just feel numb to this whole thing, normally i feel some sorta of attachment to the baby the moment i get a bfp but i just feel shocked and tearful as im so scared! i NEVER thought i would feel this way, i feel bad saying it, as im sure when babys born i will love him/her the same as the girls but atm im scared my feelings wont change!
my heads all over the place, Olli is not understanding of how i feel at all and has this 'just get on with it' attitude! and i know thats what we got to do but im just so not ready, im dreading the whole thing the idea of being pregnant again, what if i end up with another 9 months on bed rest the girls lose there mum for all that time, it was awful and iv only just started to beable to talk about what happend with Iris during pregnancy and birth without crying and now i feel like im ripping open the wound again!

please tell me im not bad for feeling this way!
and that things will be so worried about Iris!

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by Carly1306, Jan 19, 2013
Wow that is a shocker!!! But it's definitely a blessing. Think of all the things you were doing to NOT get pregnant, and it still happened - something/someone has a plan for you.

I can totally understand you're not feeling the same way about this as you did the others. It was not in your plan right now at all, and you were totally happy with the way things are. But, when does anything go the way we want or expect it to? It'll take some time to get used to, but I reckon you'll soon be relishing this new pregnancy and enjoying what it can bring.

I also think an 18-month difference isn't necessarily a bad thing. From what I've been told it's actually easier the closer in age they are. Might be strange for Iris at first, but I think in the end she'll love having a younger sibling so close in age to play with.

I still can't believe you're expecting again though!!!! Crazy!

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by msfrank107, Jan 19, 2013
I was the exact same when I found out I was expecting after jack! He was only 4 months and I definitely did not plan on having anymore! I'm now 9 weeks away from my due date and although I'm scared and nervous and worried about how we will cope I've come to believe if its meant to be then its meant to be. Congratulations and good luck wishing you a happy healthy 8 months :)

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by Dolphin05, Jan 19, 2013
I know exactly how you feel and it's understandable. You were doing your best to prevent pregnancy though. If its ment to be then all will be fine! I to am pregnant again and found out a week before Payton's 1st birthday. Here I am almost 14 weeks and still don't have that "attached" feeling to the pregnancy. My pregnancy also was not planned and being prevented. If you ever need to talk or vent I'm here!

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by retta483, Jan 19, 2013
everything will work out :) Iris will be ok i had my 2nd and third 14 months apart and it was hard at first but is great now. I think this pregnancy is a blessing !

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by PetiteWonder, Jan 19, 2013
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's hard. I was kind of trying and although part of me was happy another part was not. Cecilia like Iris is super attached to me, we are glued together and it really hurts me to think that not everything will be about her. I don't want to divide my time. The worst part is some days I've been so sick I can hardly play with her. I do not feel the same instant bond this pregnancy but I hope it will change once it becomes more real. I think your reaction is normal given all you've been through

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by haz1104, Jan 19, 2013

I can't say I know how u feel exactly..but what i do know is that I am totally UNready to have another baby for the same reasons u did..but guess what..this is an AMAZING news and u have to enjoy it..its a third blessing added into ur life and no matter how hard it is gonna b or not..and quoting u..ull totally forget about everything the min u c this lil one..

Iris is sure gonna grow up well like Lilly did and will turn up just fine..u r one of the best mothers I know and thats probably y ur too worried..u care too much and things will def b OK..uv been thru tougher times and dealt with it God he's there for u and ur lil ones..
I say u enjoy the moment and take it step by step....ur family will sure support u like they have b4 ..don't worry about the end of the day..its an AMAZING news and there's no1 on earth who wouldn't like to hear such beautiful news..and I'm sure ull do good..just take good care of ur self and little bambino..for now..and leave the rest to God and the family..I think the girls r lucky to have a new addition so soon....:)


Good luck ! :)

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by angelbabies, Jan 19, 2013
wow thanks ladys, i feel a whole lot better than i did this morn when i wrote this, i was very hormonal and emotional lol
i guess my main worry is Iris, we are into attachment parenting, shes breastfeed and i have no intention on weaning her through the pregnancy and will tandem feed if thats what she wants, we also co-sleep with her so i will prob put the baby in a crib and continue to co-sleep with Iris as i think it would unsettle her more to move and have too much change!
shes a very loving and happy child and loves to play with other children so this is good and as i work in a nursery and she comes with me shes very used to seeing me look after other babys too!
as for Lilly she asked for another baby for xmas so im sure it will be welcome news for her!
im going to book with the midwife on monday and will hope to get another scan about in a week or too, if everything is ok i will then look at telling people and changing the wedding date!
i really hope i still fit into my dress and the dress makes can fix it so i can breastfeed easily lol

i do think in the long run it will be lovely to have another child to love and for the girls to play with, i think we will stop at 3 though :) xx

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