All Journal Entries Journals

Now I am realy starting to wonder

Feb 27, 2009 - 0 comments

As everyday gets a little easier for me, I am really starting to wonder if this loss from my mother played the most important role on my life. I remember going to college, had it all had my four best friends in the world. We partied all night long. The news came when I was 18. She told me she had cancer, I remember running away at that time. I hated life. She told me her chances were very slim. She made through the first half and then I was okay for a little while. I went back home. Then she told me that she went back into the doctor and it came back full force. I was working full time for a crappy company at the time. I think my little brain is really starting to funtion agan. I lost my grandpa the year before and my grandma a year later. I am now wondering if this is all stess related. I am not so sure. I know why I ran all of these years, but now I am a strong believer that this is why. I am still fighting this . I have to. I am probably really going to need some counseling soon, as I am getting through all of these phases. I am still searching for the right job at the moment. and praying to god that he will help me fight the rest of the way.

Post a Comment