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Hit the Downer

Apr 07, 2013 - 2 comments








Since last night the other half has been reflecting his self confidence issues on me. His see's it as a jokey thing that I won't take it to heart, but after so many "fat" and "ugly" 'jokes' it starts to put a downer on things, and even worse it starts to put a resentment there, keeping a firm distance between us, which is not good at all. I know it's his insecurities because of certain behaviors and tell tell signs. To top it off, I'm now worrying about work and money, and frustrated that I haven't had a reply about seeing my aunt. All of this building up and causing pressure. But I've not took it out on anyone so That's a good thing, instead I'm loosing interest in everything.

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4926212 tn?1361199874
by peachrobidoux, Apr 08, 2013
Oh good gracious! We are SO in the same boat. Glad you haven't taken it out on anybody-- good for you!
I am losing interest in everything, too, and it doesn't help when my husband chides me about how I should just "rejoin my life" and take care of myself because I have been physically sick and (according to him) gaining weight. It's so frustrating!
I guess at some point, we have to focus on fixing ourselves. I know he will view that as selfish. But when my therapist even says that I should leave him, I know I'm not just crazy or "on the wrong meds".
I'm with you, darlin'. If you ever need to vent, call on me!
Namaste! And hang in there. Remember, YOU are not causing his self confidence issues, no matter how much he intends to convince you of that.

4642801 tn?1364034108
by TIddums, Apr 08, 2013
Yeah we Really are. I think the hardest part is, without fixing yourself and focusing on yourself, it's defiantly harder to enjoy the person you want to be with, but when that person doesn't understand what's going on, or how you feel, it just causes more to be fixed at the end of the day.
The weight thing annoys the hell out of me, but my bf told me tons I put on weight, and I thought he was just been nasty, but regardless I took it on, and started exercising and lost a stone. Turns out I had put weight on, and in his own way I think he was just trying to help. You know what men are like, useless at expressing their emotions, maybe that's all it is.
Springing off that though, exercise helped me come off some tablets I was on to make me happier, So I lost weight, managed to get off meds, and the focus also helped my happiness a lot, and I still exercise and still feel happier than I did in the long run, so maybe it's something that may help you.??
So try not to take his weight gain comments too harshly because it may just be the same as me, he may be trying to help, but doesn't understand how to go about it sensitively, or sympathetically.

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