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"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says,  "Oh no, she's awake!"

Mar 25, 2009 - 3 comments





Bipolar Disorder

It's been crazy lately - for sure.  The last several months have been consumed with finding the cure for this weird throat thing, but luckily, my perseverance has outlasted the voice is coming back slowly.  I have always been a stubborn thing - so I guess me being stubborn lasted longer than the speed of them actually finding out what's wrong with me!

The bad thing is that since I haven't been able to talk, I haven't been able to go to therapy.  Actually, it's not been that bad!  He gave me some good homework to work with and I am putting a lot into practice.  One issue has always been explaining things that bother me without either being too emotional or being furious about it.  I have made extremely good progress in that area lately.  

On the relationship front - my ex and I have been talking for a long long time (as many of you know), and after much talk and thought, we are going to shack up.  I am moving from my townhouse to be at his home (he says OUR home) with our son.  Everything is going well, and am I naive enough to think it's going to be fairy tale wonderful all of the time??  NO WAY - he isn't perfect and living with me isn't easy - for sure.  We are committed to being there for each other and to raise our son together.   We completely enjoy being together - we love each other - and we are each other's best friend.  It's going to be hard and we know it.  We talk things through now - we don't blow up at each other - we don't wait until something's just eating at us before we talk about it....believe it or not, I have used my therapist advice.  NOW, are we getting "married"?? - no - maybe not ever!  but we will be together and for each other- like we have been for the last 12 years.  I am excited and have been through a couple of "episodes" on both sides, so I know he can stand them and I can recognize them!  I have educated, for lack of a better word, on the bipolar issues.  ....  he is blown away at WHY I did a lot of the things in the past  and he recognizes the things he did that triggered them and were just down-right not what a person should do.  so.... that's that.

Still, I am struggling with my illness - both bipolar and my throat issues - but feel that I am finally letting my feet hit the floor with both feet planted FIRMLY.  

It feels good to fell worthy of love.

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Avatar universal
by RJ233, May 29, 2009
Cowgirl, I have not been on the forums much lately and have not seen what your throat problem is. I had a problem talking and searched for the answer for 20 yrs. They even thought I had a mental problem, not a talking problem. A dr that I was referred to diagnosed the problem and showed it to me in 10 minutes of the office visit. I had been to many, many drs, and it was unreal that he knew exactly what it was when looking down my throat, and the others never found it in 20 yrs.
Write me back, and tell me your symptoms and it may be close to mine, enough to get you in the right direction. Email so you don't have limited words. RJ       Always remember everyone is worthy of love.

Avatar universal
by teko, May 29, 2009
I have missed you!  I can actually feel the positivity in your post!  Wow Girl!  You got it goin on! For sure. Sounds like you got your head on straight! You know what you want, and goin for it with now illusion!  Powerful! Is the only word that comes to mind!


Avatar universal
by boldsojah4christ, May 29, 2009
Amen teko ur always in my prayers!!! THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!! Stubborn  not you lol!! You are a testimony 2 others on here!! Keep it up God has something good planned 4 u!!! BTW im glad you and ur ex worked things out i will be praying 4u like always God bless shannon:

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