All Journal Entries Journals

Apathy

Apr 03, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

apathy

,

mental

,

medication

,

funeral



Not really feeling much of anything, food has no taste, everything feels blunted. I feel like I should be crying but for some reason I can't, maybe tomorrow after the funeral I will.

Disconnected.

Doing the bare minimum, essential things for those who need me right now. Havent been looking after myself, and I think the crohn's maybe acting up again, or will soon, but luckily I already have an appointment with the Dr next week so I might tell him I don't think I'm ready to be weened off the steroids.

On the plus side, I havent gone completely mental and gone out to get wasted so that I don't have to face real life, or gone into either fits of despair and crying or the other way and gone manic (which I feared... being manic at a funeral would be quite bad).

Also I finally realised that I NEED medication and I can't carry on the way I have been lately, so after all this is over and I get back to uni I'm going to actively pursue this and actually call the Drs or whoever I need to call instead of waiting for them.

Havent updated moods in the past few days.. too busy, and havent really had time to concentrate on myself, but on the whole been down for the last week or so, but that's to be expected.

On another note, my memory is rubbish... keep forgetting where I park my car or bike amongst other things.

On the whole, I'm feeling alright considering everything thats going on... I just feel like I'm moving so slow, and I'm scared that if I stop I'll stop moving alltogether.

Post a Comment