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Non-Neighborly Behavior

Sep 15, 2013 - 4 comments
Tags:

Panic Disorder

,

Panic Anxiety Syndrome

,

Panic attacks

,

Anxiety Disorder

,

stress

,

Agoraphobia

,

monophobia

,

Behavior

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.” ― G.K. Chesterton

“Neighbors, I’m on the fence about them. 
” ― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

I went to dry my clothes at the laundromat a block away from my house around 3 PM today. I left the laundromat at 3:06 PM.I went home and came back around 4:20 PM to get my clothes. Both times, I had my dog with me. Although, my dog was barking, he was only outside for 5-7 minutes each time. A man that lives on the street that the laundromat is on said that my dog had been barking non-stop for two hours, which is completely untrue because I came back home to watch the football game before coming back to get my clothes. I need my dog for emotional support. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorder (along with agoraphobia and monophobia). That is the only reason why I had my dog with me. I have been a resident of my neighborhood for 17 years, and have never been treated the way I have been today. I am afraid to go back to the laundromat because I cannot go alone and this is the closest laundromat to my home. I am humiliated because this man who did not know me, berated me in public, which, has made my anxiety worse. I tried to go back by myself, and I could not do it. It was physically painful. I wish I could put this man in my shoes for one week.

He said he only came out there because his wife said that my dog had been barking for two hours, and their baby needed to sleep. Keep in mind that this man lives on a street where there is a constant flow of traffic, and the street parallel to them has a steady bus route going down it. I'm pretty sure if someone complained or lied on his baby, he'd be just as upset. I just want to cry because I don't want to muzzle my dog. He doesn't like it.

Comments
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973741 tn?1342346373
by specialmom, Sep 15, 2013
Hm.  This is a tough one.  I can see both sides.  I personally find barking dogs like nails on a chalk board.  In a public place, it probably is not appropriate for you to bring your dog.  Service dogs are another matter but they are trained to be in public and don't do things like bark to the point of disturbing people around it.  In truth, I would imagine one phone call to authorities and they'd probably tell you that you can't tie your dog up outside the public venue anymore due to disturbing others around it.  Even if it is 5 minutes every couple of hours.  

On the other hand, I understand the anxiety issues that you are describing.  What are you doing for treatment?  Hopefully by treating the anxiety fully, you'll be better able to handle something like this.  Clearly the issue isn't going into the Laundromat as you leave the dog outside but the walk there??  Do you have any friends or family that you could just do laundry at their house and give them some money?  Any place to hook up a used washer/dryer at your place?  Any other options??  

Sounds hard.  

But think of the owner of the Laundromat.  If there is a dog tied up outside and even one customer said it scared them because it was barking, that would be a problem, right?  

So, I'd think of what alternatives you have.  Again, sorry as it does sound really hard on you.  I sure hope that your panic and anxiety gets less.  peace

13167 tn?1327197724
by RockRose, Sep 15, 2013
Last week,  I drove down to the end of my street (it's a very long residential street) and turned left onto a busier residential street when this car honked loudly,  passed me across a yellow "do not cross" line and slammed on her brakes in front of me forcing me to slam mine on too.  She started screaming at me that I was driving like a crazy woman,  going 50 miles an hour and it was all she could do to catchup with me and overtake me.  She said her dog had been hit on that street last week and she was sick of people flying down it.  For those who don't know me,  I DO NOT go 50 mph down my residential street,  it was unlikely I was going even 30 and this crazy woman passed me and drove a significant distance in the oncoming traffic lane to purposely nearly cause a wreck to scream at me.  For something I didn't do,  at all.  I just stared at her,  open mouthed and said this is my neighborhood too, and I certainly don't speed around going 50.  

A long time ago when my first child was a baby we went to this beautiful bed and breakfast in Seattle Washington.  We were checking in in the lobby,  and I settled into a couch to play with my baby.  This awful woman came up and said in a loud voice to my baby "well we all certainly heard YOU all last night!!  I hope you'll have a better night sleep tonight so we all can too!!".  I just stared at her.  Then I said we just arrived and are checking in.  She didn't even have the decency to apology,  although she did look embarrassed and she walked off quietly.

The point?  Sometimes people are jerks and they accuse you of stuff you didn't do and it rattles your cage.

Don't let it rattle you.  Take your dog back to the laundromat next time,  but take him inside so he doesn't bark.

And never underestimate the power of a blank stare.  ;D



3136912 tn?1377837008
by neikainaka, Sep 16, 2013
Specialmom, I didn't have a problem with him not liking my dog. The problem was that he lied on me to my face about the same football game that we both saw. And when I told him that, he blamed everything on his wife. My dog wasn't barking for that whole 5-7 minute period. He only started barking when he couldn't see me. Also, that when I went home, there are other non-stop loud noises that occur on a daily basis on the street that he lives on (constant traffic, bus route, and a bar on the corner). But he singled me out.

And about finding another washing machine, we have a washer and dryer in our home, but it's problem a with me using them. My aunt complains and says things about the water and electric bills, even though I pay a third and only wash clothes once a month. (Even though I'd like to do it more.) So, I avoid this by going to the laundromat. I only needed to dry my clothes because I washed them when she left. But she came back before I could dry them, so I took them to the laundromat. Also, she accused me of breaking the washing machine. This is why I try to wait until she goes away for the weekend, but she changed her mind this week and I had no clean clothes.

RockRose, that's exactly my point. I just don't understand why he needed to lie, and he did it loudly, so lots of people heard. It was embarrassing. I'm going to have to find something to put him in because he knows how to get out of his muzzles.

Thank you both for your input.

3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Sep 24, 2013
My border collie barks every time she sees a dog, and I carry a muzzle in case i need it. Most times, i just show her the muzzle, and not a peep comes out of her.  It may not be fair when we are singled out, but because of all the stress living at your aunts, you are feeling it much more so than if you were happy with your living arrangements.

So we need to work on you getting  to a happy place, where hopefully you can use the washer and dryer that's there. You need a place where you can have a dog, and that may be more difffcult to find, but where there's a will, there's a way.



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