Last night my anxiety spiked up and down. I spent all day around my mom. And right before bed I broke down completely. My mom showed up again and held me as I sobbed. She put a cold cloth on my back and it was very helpful. She stayed with me until I went to 1am and I was ready to sleep. It was very kind and sweet of her. She suggested that instead of going up to see my friends (today) I should stay go shopping with her.
Today I ended doing all of those! We went to the thyroid doc (my levels were better than normal!) and then the mall for lunch. I was just looking at clothes while my dad got the new iphone but it was the oddest thing. Someone was taping a web show there and the store was kind of empty. The employee there decided to become my friend and we talked a lot.
My mom showed up and well, my mom bought me $200 worth of clothes. Which is an insane amount... and she did it all to make me feel better. I can't believe she did that for me. With all the money my family has been spending on my sisters wedding and what not, I was surprised she bought me so much. But it was nice and I spent the rest of the day in such a joyful mood because of it. It was the best shopping experience of my life, between the super friendly employees and my mother being extra generous.
I spent the rest of the day with my friends and I felt great, relieved.
Until I had to go home... and now, if it weren't for the Xanax... I'd be a wreck.
But the thought of the new clothes... the great time with friends. It was really good. But the anxiety yesterday was hellish.
I see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm hoping this goes well. I start college back this Thursday. So... I need to be stable.
Let's hope for the best.