Oct 11, 2013
it finally happened. after 6 years including this six-month relapse, I am experiencing BOREDOM,
ohmygd it's a p p a l l i n g,
I have never really had this before. I experienced it maybe a couple of years ago somewhere in there...
was always too sick to think about it or feel it, or just well enough to be doing something necessary...
mixed in with aimlessness.
bit less depressed and jittery than a couple weeks ago. that was terrible.
but the boredom and confusion is dreadful. somehow I was too anxious to be bored up til now!
it is great to be less anxious. now just directionless.
bit tiring to read.
dad was trying to be nice and thoughtful, offered me some shirts that he bought, and a few booklets that I could read to 'occupy' myself - titles: yoga, digital photography, finance - it was mini hurtful that he thinks I can do yoga, or can even concentrate on reading/ learning something like study... but that's how it is. he was very thoughtful, bit intrusive, but probably quite brave. I LOOK well and up for studying, but - I am not.
mum and dad have been fantastic catering to all my 'special needs' - I have become high maintenance - sort of - it's hellish existence, but I guess If I didn't have these needs met I would just rather die.
they have been very good and patient. it has taken 6 years for them to realise just how sickly cfs makes a person.
have been able to draw a bit
got some great (7hours) sleeps here and there. often 6 hours, which is streets ahead of the previous chronic 5-hour sleeps. thank god!
naturopath is a wizard - has helped with 5-htp, and germanium tea.
previous doctor has put me on p5p and zinc. ANGELS SURROUND ME.