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Why don't they understand that it isn't just a bad mood?

May 29, 2009 - 8 comments



Bipolar Depression


rapid cycling bipolar









Every time I think that my husband understands somewhat about this stupid disorder - he pulls one of these.  "We need to get you out of this bad mood."   WHY DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE "MOOD"!?!?!?!?   Which I have tried to explain that it isn't a "mood" at all - it's a state of mind - not a mood that happy thoughts will lift you from.

I don't choose the down periods - and I SURELY don't choose the rapid cycling.  My doctor has increased my Lamictal to 250mg and it's made me a bit b*tchy, but right now I am rapid cycling between my mania and depression.  At the state I am now - I would usually just isolate myself away from everyone and wait for it to lift.  Now that we live in the same house -  I don't have the ability to isolate and it drives me CRAZY!

It gets so old to have people peering at you (and granted I might be having a tad bit of paranoia) and trying to fix you.  

NO!  I can't pull myself up by my bootstraps - NO, I don't WANT to be depressed - NO, I don't want to isolate....NO, I don't want to have the racing thoughts - I DON'T CHOOSE TO BE BIPOLAR!!!!!!!!!  I AM SO FRE*AKING SORRY THAT MY ISSUES ARE INCONVENIENT!!!!!   IT WAS NOT MY CHOICE TO BE THIS WAY!!!!


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Avatar universal
by Twelvesgirl, May 29, 2009
Me too...Me too. If this didn't have your name at the top of it....I may have thought that I wrote it without remembering that I wrote it. My husband is in denial, he doesn't understand, and he is in denial. I have a med appt. today and he told me to take my kids w/ me and tell them that this is what my "real" problem is.

Nobody understands that we didn't choose this, not even the people closest to us, that's so painful to me, it hurts my heart. That is something that they CHOOSE to do. If we're going to be choosey, then I choose to not clean the house, or do the laundry, or fix dinner, or take care of the kids, or feed the dog, or..........................................................................

Avatar universal
by cowgirlnerd, May 29, 2009
I hear ya!  I would choose to eat tons and tons of ice cream and not gain a pound ......wear a house dress and it be fashionable as well as comfortable (don't wear them but it would be nice...)....have Jennifer Anniston hair and body...have an Einstein IQ (even though he was BP, too.)....

It drives me crazy!

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by sunshine1976, May 29, 2009
I have PMDD & get pretty wacked out when my hormones are in flux.  I tell my husband I need extra help from him & space.  My husband actually said to me "You think you'd be used to it by now, It has happened once a month for 1/2 your life".  Yes, I let him live, but barely.  I get extra upset due to the fact that he suffers from Anxiety & Depression & is trying to get it under control with meds.  Do I blame him if we can't go out to dinner because his anxiety is up & he can't eat infront on people?  You think he would understand the feeling of being trapped by these feelings.  I would never say anything like that to him, It really hurts.
I love him, but men are thoughtless sometimes.

Avatar universal
by LaTetona, May 29, 2009
Unless a person suffers from the same illness or a related illness, they really don't understand how difficult it is to deal with these disorders. I go from being all happy and in good spirits and out of the blue  become a raging b****. Filled with anxiety and depression. I have not been evaluated so I have no idea what my condition may be. My son is no doctor but thinks I'm bi-polar. Sometimes I don't even want to live anymore. I would never hurt myself I say to myself. I am a christian woman and trust in the lord to see me through my difficult times. I will be getting evaluated in a week. I know I need help but I am so confused. I have a great husband but he can't seem to understand and I just cause him stress and anxiety. I've told him and my family to just please not take anything I say personally and to just stay away from me when I'm having an episode.

I am so glad I found this website. Let's not give up on ourselves. Let's fight this, I know it's not an easy thing to be going through but unfortunately we're the only ones that truly know how we feel and how we can't help the way we're feeling. I hope to get help soon, trust in god to see me and all of you through our difficult times.

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by Melissa0116, May 29, 2009
I am so sorry that your husband does not understand.  He cannot expect you to change your issues just like that.  I think that men just have a hard time understanding a lot of things that us women face.  Sometimes I think that they need a class in school that teaches them how to relate to us.  You know what else they don't get is that meds do not solve all the problems that come with depression or Bipolar disorder and meds can sometimes add more issues.  I am pregnant, I have ADD and was taking meds to control this but since I found out I was pregnant, I had to stop them.    I tell my husband that I am exhausted and he will tell me that he does not understand why I am so tired.  I just just look at him like Get a freaking clue.  One day I would like to see a man go thru some of the things that us women go through.  They would not be able to handle it.  

Just know that we all understand and are here for you when you need us.  That is what this site is all about.  Support for each other at any time of the day or night.  Hang in there and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  

Avatar universal
by LaTetona, May 29, 2009
Thank you Melissa. You're having a baby, what a blessing. I know how hard it is for you not being able to take your meds and all. As you see, the problem is that people just don't understand. There should be courses given for those people who have family members with these disorders. How can anyone think we want to feel this way or can help how we're feeling? I pray that one day people will understand without being judgmental. I wish you the best. May you always find the strength to carry you through each day until you can take your meds again. You as well will be in my prayers and I'm here for you also.  

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by freddie8605, Jun 30, 2011
You took the words right out of my mouth. Well put :)

Hope you are feeling better 2 years on.

Avatar universal
by cowgirlnerd, Jun 30, 2011
Much better - of course, I have my moments!  

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