what to do

[lala087]

I am 22 and I have a 6 year old son who is so out of control and he just cannot listen if his life depended on it it’s like he is always out in left field some where if you tell him to do something he will not do it never ever and sometimes he will just repeat everything you say I don’t know what to do I really don’t iv tried sending him to counseling we have tried some exercise I have done just about everything I’m waiting on an appointment to put him on meds and I hope it helps. He is so bad I cannot take him anywhere not out to eat to a store a movie I can’t even take him to get gas because he is so bad and cannot listen he is all over the place looking at and touching EVERYTHING. Whenever I do take him out people just look at us funny and sometimes they say stuff about how bad and I even hear some people call him dumb or a retard. I cannot even get a job because no one will watch him .I need help somehow some way I just really need help I’m starting to lose my mind I don’t know what to do anymore I just don’t like I had said I really need help nothing I have tried has worked. Please please please please help me and my son. I talk to him about why he does bad things and asks like a very bad boy and all he says is I don’t know sometimes he will cry and tell me he wants to be good he does not know why he can’t do it may be he cries and says that to get away with something? I really don’t know all I know is that we needed help badly. It is getting to the point where I no longer have any friends because they can’t handle being around my son his behavior is staring to affect my refashion ship with my boyfriend and his kids there are getting annoyed with his bad behavior. I feel bad for my son because I don’t think he knows what he is really doing and how it’s going to affect others he always asks me why we hardly go out or why no one wants to play with him for more than a few minis. When he plays with other kids he really gets overly hyper and he just does not know when to stop and when he gets like that the other kids don’t like it so they no longer want to play with him. He has a very short temper if you dont give him what he wants he will flip out he will hit me kick me no matter where we are ( he hits kicks and bites me whenever i try to punsh him or if i say no) I just dont know what to da anymore ilike I said I need help! What should I do?????

[specialmom]

Quick note, when a child is young, talking about their issues may not be the best thing.  But using kid language to help them understand why they feel the way they do is an important thing.  Otherwise, they never get why they feel different than everyone else.  My son has sensory integration disorder----  we talk about his body and brain as an engine and that at times it runs too high.  He needs to understand that in order to help control it.  We talk about impulse control in kid friendly ways too----   that everyone has a stop button and a go button and that his go button always wants to be on.  He has to remember to push the stop button if an activity is unsafe or inappropriate.  I do use tact for who I tell about his sensory and don't talk about it in front of other kids (kids are cruel).  But a family has to be able to discuss it in a kid friendly way.  My two cents.  

As I asked in my other post, there seems to be a piece missing here.  How are things at school?  Are they attempting evaluations and intervention?  Do they have before and after care for childcare during work hours?  And . . . they do not prescribe medication for being "bad"-----  a child must have a diagnosis by a physician that has evaluated for a treatable condition.  good luck

[dollyn]

lala087    adderall is like speed ,and I wish I new that before I gave it to my son. And from one mom to another I would make sure that the adderall  is not making your son brain go crazy after starting the adderall.My son to was on as you say only 5mg ,and yes he was less hipper ,but stared having seizures after being on these drugs , And not all seizures can be seen ,some you wont know about unless you do a EEG.

[LMac605]

Take a deep breath.  Now, I too have a boy who does a lot of the same things and the first thing you should know is that it is a work in progress.  We did a lot of researching before medications and are still working towards not using meds but for now he takes Adderall 5 mg.  We have adjusted his diet, going to counseling (starting that again this week) and WE his parents are also going to counseling.  This will help us to help him!  I posted on here last night because of our own issues and EVERYONE should know that every child is different, circumstances are different and parents are different.  So, if meds did not work for your child does not mean it will not work for someone else's.  As far as babysitting....put an ad in the paper and be honest about the issues, check out resources from school and even your doctor's office.  Some advice from another post I just viewed also stated that you should never discuss his behavior in front of him.  It makes them self-conscious.  I hope this helps and good luck.  LMac605

[margypops]

I concur with what dollyn has said ....try putting your son onto an anti oxident supplement Vit B Complex Vit C and also fish oil is useful...Many parents have found that their children do well on them ..It may also be a good idea to see if there is a parenting class near you as very often some adjustment in behavior from Parents helps a lot,a lot of times it is a child/Parent interaction problem ... Good Luck

[dollyn]

you can't wait to put him on what I call drugs, Have you looked up the side effects to the drugs they give children and what can happen to them if they take it,and how you could end up with a child who is sick with something because of the medicines.

you didn't say anything about how he is in School, or how he is with his Dad and his family.

My son was like yours at one time,and the special ed teacher couldn't handle him.So I put him on drugs to help him learn and calm down. My son as I new him has gone and I wish I had never  put him on those drugs.After taking the drugs they give to children for add or adhd  my son started to have seizures,and yes he acts out and I would rather have that then a child who is sick and we cant stop the seizures ,he has them every day.And sometimes he doesn't know when he does bad things because he is seizures.

I would have your son checked for everything that goes with add and adhd ,because there are a lot of kids given these drugs that shouldn't have them,if the doctors and parents only did the work.blood levels check to make sure his brain is working the way it should be .

my son is not taken and will not take drugs fir hipper ever again,these drugs are like street drugs that people on the street get hooked on.