7 year old being labelled by school teacher

[worrywartmum]

my 7 year old son is having a terrible time at school. he is in year two and i begun helping out in his class room  during reading groups to  which i observed he wasn't doing his work. the teacher had never mentioned such a problem and as he completes his homework by himself with no errors i assumed he was doing well. he has his main teacher four days and another teach on Wednesdays. i asked both teachers to send home his incomplete work as consequence and punishment to which his Wednesday teacher labelled him autistic and no work was sent. my son loves people, craves socialism and company and has a wide variety of interests. such as space, dinosaurs, trains, robots, reading, exploration, camping, fishing, gardening, documentaries on history, nature and science, bike riding and computers all the things boys like.he is very aware of his 2 year old sister informing me if she is about to do anything dangerous. in class he displaying a lot of frustration yelling at the teacher and some times other class mates. the teacher wanted a meeting  to which i attended and when i refused her diagnosis we concluded that a communication book and unfinished work to be sent home like requested. he has improved a little trying harder to prevent  work from coming home. the teacher i feels lacks discipline with him. i watched my son roll around on the floor and she said nothing. than later uses his boredom to build a case against him. my son is having trouble with multiple directions and time limits to which i adapt my parenting giving him one task at a time and prompting him i read some info on inattentive attention deficit and feel if he has a problem it is more likely to be this than autism. he is very affectionate. as a baby he was a bad sleeper and bad eater he says he is vegetarian now. i often find him naked beside the bath instead of in the bath like he become side tracked. i can tell him where something is and he will go  and supposedly look but not find only for it to be right in front of him visually clear, like he is distracted with his own thoughts. when he is watching tv it can take up to 3 times to get his attention by calling his name his head will turn towards me though his eyes will only leave the tv if i raise my voice .when talking and having conversations he has no trouble keeping eye focus. he says he cant control himself and that he is always tired to which i assume he is lazy. it takes him hours to fall asleep each night often walking out for a drink an hour and a half later. he never cries being left at school but often cries when being picked up saying he had a bad day. his main teacher said he has trouble staying focused  i am at my wits end with the school as at home he rarely frustrates me and when he does i assume that is completely normal what child doesn't frustrate his parents periodically ?he has never had issues going to peoples places or being minded by friends or family. he wont let anyone take advantage of him if he believes someone has taken something thats his he has no trouble standing up for his own rights often seen as being disrespectful. please help me to help my son be happy in his school environment.

[worrywartmum]

he also hates loud noise and has said school is too loud  

[benjimom]

Teachers are not supposed to diagnose. let me guess she said ADHD.  It sounds like he might have some sensory issues for sure if he says school is loud, it is very overstimulating in a large class w/lots of kids and his teacher does not sound like the most supportive person.    I will write mroe later.

[worrywartmum]

the teacher never considered adhd just autism. and she wont change her mind. so his school records are basically going to continue to label him right through his school life. i am very confused as you can imagine. he is absolutely distressed by the end of the day. he does flap his hands at times and jump about to which we tell him he is not a bird and this is occurring very little these days so i think  he is growing out of that habit. i am grateful for your response.

[benjimom]

I woudl go outside of the school and evaluate him if you feel it's necessary.  Here in the US, I am not sure where you live, but teachers and schools are not supposed to diagnose kids.  Schools are hard to deal with when you have issues, not all teachers are understanding. I went through that with my son's kindergarten teacher, it was a TOUGH year.  But I assue you are doing your very best, these problems don't happen overnight and don't get solved onvernight either.    It sounds like the school causes him a lot of STRESS>  My son was very stressed at his old school, he became very oppisitional, he also would chew holes in his shirt and refused to do a lot of what they asked him to do, he also ran from staff and would hide under tables, etc.  IT was very distressing to me as a mom!!  

[Sandman2]

  I don't think his Wed. teacher has a clue.  For that matter if she does think it is autism, what are they doing about it.  Early intervention is the key.  Also many of the techniques used for autistic kids can also help ADHD kids.  Don't know how your system works, but in the states if a teacher makes a comment like that and puts it into the record, the school has to get involved if you ask.  
I would try and make sure if there is a choice for teachers next year - opps wait, you guys are only half way through your school year now.  Kind of changes things.  Do you have any thing like requests for special ed, where your son is evaluated by somebody that actually knows what is going on?
  I would also highly suggest that you buy or order the book,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   It should give you a very good perspective of the possiblilities of AD/HD, but it goes a lot further and gives you ways to work with and teach the child.  It has a great special ed section, but I don't know if it would apply in Australia.  
   Anyway - get the book and push the school for more help.  Good luck