help w/ 13yr old w/ adhd and odd

[Russell595]

Do you recommend a book that will help us parent our boy?  we are frustrated at not being able to get through to him.

[Sandman2]

    A couple of books that might help.  They give a different viewpoint to ADHD. There is
a new book by a UC Berkley honors student with severe  ADHD about growing up with ADHD.  The book is  called - "ADHD and Me,  What I learned from lighting fires at the dinner table," by  Blake Taylor.    Basically, "the Cal freshman tells how he made the ADHD work in his favor."  The article also mentions two other good books - "Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell, and "The Gift of ADHD", by Honos-Webb.
   In terms of getting through to your son- I can suggest after years of teaching middle school-that what you did in the past may not work as well.  He is very different now then he was in elementary school.  He needs to be treated as a (semi) adult.  He can understand consequences - if they are fair.  Don't talk down to him.  Try to get him involved in after school activities.  Do talk to him - even if it drives him nuts. Do be consistent.  Fair, consistent rules and guidelines are very important.  Do talk to his teachers and counselors.  Many times parents don't get involved with school personnel once their child leaves elementary school- stay involved.
   Finally, I would say it is extremely important to understand what ADHD and ODD are and how they affect your child.  If you have not yet become an expert in this field, it is definitely time to do so.  Good luck

[therese83]

Transforming the difficult child the nurtured heart aproach.  By Howard Glasser

It completely turned my boy around without medication. He is nearly 18, we dont have a problem, even though he was a little bas#ard, ha ha

He is lovely now

One tip, never say 'no ' unless you really have to. I mean my boy really listens to me, I have let a lot of things go.  It only matters if it matters, like caring for people etc.  Dont worry about the small stuff.  When my boy was around 12 and i was going to parent teacher conferences he used to say "dont forget to tell them I dont do homework", but i just said "that is your choice"  now he is a top student for himself.  He had to face natural consequences + if he was punished at school for something I would never punish him again at home.

Hope this helps