6.5 years and ready to quit.. please help

[want2befreeandbeme]

I am 22 and have been bulimic for approximately for 6 years- 7 years or so and I really want to stop. Over the past years it has gotten better in the sense that i have less binge and purge episodes and try to avoid foods that I know will tempt me to purge. I began using illegal drugs a while back, stimulants, which suppressed my appetite and rid me of bulimia for a while. I stopped using drugs which was very difficult to stop and then began drinking on a regular basis. When I drink even a moderate amount I do not binge and purge. Also, I always get the urge to binge and purge during the evening. I am thinking of going to a professional but I really want to do this by myself, I was wondering if this could be due to a chemical imbalance?? I have always had problems with depression as a child and was anorexic for sometime as an adolescent until I discovered bulimia. I have kept a diary and noticed that during the day i am fine even if I am stressed but during the evening I feel overwhelmed sad and anxious and feel the urge to either drink or binge and purge. I choose to drink to not binge and purge.. which is bad. I remember that as a child I always became sad towards the evening... and would eat a lot.

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Dear want2befreeandbeme,

I know you want to do it on your own.  Many individuals with eating disorders do not want to burden others and believe they should figure it out and do it on their own.  This thinking actually keeps them trying to control their lives, being isolated and continuing with believing they have no needs.  Thus, their behaviors keep them trapped in their disorder.

Often individuals switch from one obsessive compulsive behavior to another.  What they need to do is understand the underlying causes, express their feelings and needs and find effective coping skills.  You have emotional insight into how evenings have always brought on sadness.  You also have genetic understanding of anorexic history, depression and drug abuse.  You have been involved in this vicious cycle for a long time.  Seeking professional help could be the best thing you have ever done for yourself.  You may also consider seeking an eating disorder program as your treatment option.  This option offers a treatment team usually consisting of a medical doctor, psychiatrist, individual and family therapist, registered dietitian and group therapy.  For more information on treatment options, you may want to visit the bella vita website.

With Joy,

Dr Patricia Pitts
The Bella Vita
Los Angeles, CA

[melmarv]

It is very hard to kick an eating disorder by yourself. I am not saying that it is not possible.  You have to give it your all though.  You have to be at your breaking point.  Anorexia and Bulimia are diseases, just like an alcoholic. It is an imbalance, absolutely.   I am a recovering anorexic.  I am actually 6 weeks out of treatment.  I don't know where you live but here are my suggestions.  Get into an eating disorder anonymous meeting. This way you don't have to this completely alone.  They're every where. Just look online.  If you have the means (funds) I would maybe also suggest getting a therapist that specializes in addictions.   From your post it kind of sounds like you jump from addiction to addiction. Not uncommon at all. It is time to conquer them all,  once and for all.  I don't know you but if you are coming to this forum I believe that you want to do that.  Anxiety and depression play a huge role in eating disorders.  I don't really know anyone that has an eating disorder that does not suffer from some kind of mood problem.  You are not alone though and you can beat this.  Believe in yourself, want this.  If you want to tell me the city that you live in, I will also help you find a meeting. Totally not stalker style.  I am in Denver.  I just know how it feels to be alone and wanting to be better. You can do this.