is my friend bulimic?

[ken20ken]

My friend is always "sick" or at least that was her reason when I found her throwing up in the girls bathroom one day at lunch. She doesn't eat, I don't think I've ever seen her eat somthing without it being forced down her throat. Shes skinny, too skinny, she has a twenty inch waist. Once she was at my house sleeping over and the next morning I found her passed out by the toilet. She must have been throwing up all night.
I love her like a sister and she's killing herself.

Is she Bulimic? Or is it just me?

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Dear Ken20ken,

Well, it does not sound good.  A 20 inch waist, throws up, restricts food intake and passed out by the toilet.  She could be anorexic, purging type.  She sounds like she needs help.  You could talk to her about how you feel about her behavior.  Scared?  Concerned?  You can also bring a few other people in who are concerned and talk with her together.

If you need some direction or an interventionist to assist, please contact me through the bella vita website.  You can also check the bella vita website out to learn about bulimia and anorexia.
Best,

Dr Patricia Pitts
The Bella Vita
Los Angeles, CA

[ken20ken]

ok... :(
so i'm not talking about a friend, i'm talking about myself. thats what my friends have told me... and what has happened.
i'm ashaimed of myself. :( i'm ashaimed of my body, i'm ashaimed of who i am.

[Rach878]

It's ok. You shouldn't feel ashamed. I have bulimerexia, and have had it for the past 6 years. How long have you been having these problems. Do you think you have anorexia or bulimia, or both. I don't know how old you are or anything, but you might want to talk to your parents about getting into therepy, and seeing your doctor for a check up, to make sure your not makeing yourself really sick.

[benotafraid]

Well, you certainly had a crafty way of getting my attention.  First of all, you are not alone.  Sounds like you already know that there is a problem, and you already know what the problem is.  How long have you had these behaviors?

[ken20ken]

i have bulimia... and i've had it for, i'd guess a year or so.

[Rach878]

Well as a fellow bulimic/anorexic i can honestly say that your not alone. I'm only just discovereing myself how many of us there are out there. Not that i personally know anyone besides myself, but here on this website you can get a lot of support from people who have been were you are, and are headed, people who are finally recoving, and people who have just started with there struggle. I'm sure at some point we all felt ashamed to admit it, but here there is no judgment for having these problems, which is why i am so comfortable here.

[ken20ken]

i'm still ashaimed. i don't even know how to start stopping?

[benotafraid]

What are you ashamed of?

[benotafraid]

Admitting and accepting that you have an eating disorder is quite powerful.  There are many, many people who deny it for years.   Do your mom and dad know?

[ken20ken]

i'm ashaimed because no matter how skinny i am i still look fat in my eyes, i'm ashaimed because i lie to everyone and say theres nothing wrong, and i'm ashaimed that i can't stop even though i want to.

and my parents don't know...

[benotafraid]

Don't be ashamed.  You are not alone.  Hiding your secret is very normal.  You need to forgive yourself.  Ask youself ... why do you want to stop?
Stopping is very hard and does not happen overnight.  You have to give it a while ... maybe even months.  Getting rid of an ED (eating disorder) is a long hard journey.
But you do have to be sure that you believe deep in your heart that you really, really want to stop.  
How often do the ED behaviors present themself?  
Is bulima isolated or do you restrict your diet as well?

[Rach878]

You don't have to be ashamed of hiding it. I hide it from everyone for 3 years. Even know that everyone knows, there are still behaviors i hide. i still do all my behaviors in secret, and no one knows how bad things really are. over this past summer i was sure i wanted to recover, so i made the first step and checked into a treament center. i was doing ok there, and then when it was time to leave i still wanted to get better. However when the holidays were coming up, i became ambivelent about treatment. So i gave up on it for awhile. Sometimes i really do want to get better, and other times i don't. But i've decided to still try for it. benotafraid is right you do have to want it with all your heart for treatment to work. And no one here is going to tell you its easy to change. But change is possible.

[ken20ken]

i eat food but i can't keep it down...
and thanks for the support, i need it now more than ever.

[benotafraid]

Explain why you cannot keep food down. Do you indulge in large amounts of food and then purge afterward? Or do you purge everytime you eat no matter how little or how much you've had.

Is your body simply unable to hold food down?  or is your brain telling you that you must get rid of the food because if you don't you will see extra pounds on the scale?

Do you have anorexia with the bulima?

These questions all need answers.  Be honest with yourself.

[ken20ken]

i purge everytime you eat no matter how little or how much you've had, and i can't keep it (food) down because A. my brain and body don't want to, they don't want to gain weight, and B. becuase food literally makes me feel fat and sick and gross. i barely get it in my mouth without gagging...

[Rach878]

I am going through the same feeling. No matter how small, i usually end up purging what i eat too, for the same reasons you do. i just wanted you to know your not alone in feeling this. I'm meeting an ed theripist next tues. Petrified she'll put me on a meal plan! because i don't want to gain weight  and i too have a hard time letting food sit in me. i feel fat, i can't loook in the mirror for at least two hours it's horrible.

Do you have a scale? If so how many times a day do you weigh yourself?

[benotafraid]

How often do you weigh-in?  If you don't mind sharing ... how tall are you and what is your weight?

[Rach878]

I weigh myself 3-5x a day. i'm 4ft. 11 in. but would rather not share my weight

[ken20ken]

i'm 5ft. and i weigh 98lbs.
i weigh 8 times a day.
wake up.
before trying to eat (TTE) breakfast.
after trying to eat (TTE) breakfast.
before TTE lunch.
after TTE lunch.
before TTE dinner.
after TTE dinner.
then last right before bed.

[Rach878]

you sound a lot like me. I usually weigh myself when i get up, after i get dressed, when i get home from school, before dinner, after i take a shower, and right before bed.

[ken20ken]

i hate the way i am

[benotafraid]

Ken20Ken, please remember ... you are not alone.  Nothing you've shared about yourself is unusual when you have an eating disorder.  
I am here to help you.  Please tell us what will you think will make you happier?
Can we defeat your ed together?

[Rach878]

Hello, i hate how i am too, alot of the time. I agree with benotafraid, let us know how we can help you. If you need help finding  a  theripist or a treatment center, or just  having us to talk to. And don't be afraid to ask anyting.

[ken20ken]

my "friend" called me fat today... he always does, and i think he's joking, though i can't be sure. i feel like ****.
i just don't even know what to say... i'm SO tired of all of it.