Aa
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm 17 and I've been dealing with my eating disorder since I was 13.
I just feel so stuck, depressed, and helpless.
When it started it was starving myself for days at a time, when my mom found out I wasn't eating, I started to eat again except just purge afterwards.
Now a daily thing for me is: Starve all day as long as possible, some days it will be all day with no food or no more then 500 cals.
Other days it will be starving until I need to eat, then binge, or even eat just a "regular meal", and purge right away.
Lately I've been getting more comments then ever on my weight and about how skinny I am, but I just don't feel like I am, I still feel huge.
And also I have been abusing drugs to loose weight easier..
My question is, what do I do?
I know somewhere deep down I want to get better, but I know if I go and talk to someone, I'm not going to put in any effort out of their office to get better.
There's no way I'll force myself to eat, and get fat.
But I am so sick of this!
I also don't want my mom to know, help pleaseeee.
I just feel so stuck, depressed, and helpless.
When it started it was starving myself for days at a time, when my mom found out I wasn't eating, I started to eat again except just purge afterwards.
Now a daily thing for me is: Starve all day as long as possible, some days it will be all day with no food or no more then 500 cals.
Other days it will be starving until I need to eat, then binge, or even eat just a "regular meal", and purge right away.
Lately I've been getting more comments then ever on my weight and about how skinny I am, but I just don't feel like I am, I still feel huge.
And also I have been abusing drugs to loose weight easier..
My question is, what do I do?
I know somewhere deep down I want to get better, but I know if I go and talk to someone, I'm not going to put in any effort out of their office to get better.
There's no way I'll force myself to eat, and get fat.
But I am so sick of this!
I also don't want my mom to know, help pleaseeee.
Cassie,
It's all about baby steps. No one in their right mind would expect you to jump into recovery and start following a "normal" meal plan with no troubles or anything. If you could do that, I mean that's beyond great and all but I would never expect that or ask that of you even if I were your therapist/dietitian/etc. I think the big picture scares you, but recovery is such a process. It's all about little accomplishments, little steps in the right direction. Think, what's something you can do right now to move forward? It might have to do with purging less, keeping something down, eating 550 calories instead of 500, or maybe it has to do with when you're eating even. It sounds like you're ready to take a step forward, so what's a small goal you can set for yourself right now? Let me know if I can be of help to you. Hope you're having a good week!
Ashley
It's all about baby steps. No one in their right mind would expect you to jump into recovery and start following a "normal" meal plan with no troubles or anything. If you could do that, I mean that's beyond great and all but I would never expect that or ask that of you even if I were your therapist/dietitian/etc. I think the big picture scares you, but recovery is such a process. It's all about little accomplishments, little steps in the right direction. Think, what's something you can do right now to move forward? It might have to do with purging less, keeping something down, eating 550 calories instead of 500, or maybe it has to do with when you're eating even. It sounds like you're ready to take a step forward, so what's a small goal you can set for yourself right now? Let me know if I can be of help to you. Hope you're having a good week!
Ashley
Hi, I think I will actually check that out, thanks.
And also it's the same, I know I want to get better somewhere a little, but it's just too scary and I don't think I would ever be able to follow through with a diet plan or anything, it just doesn't seem realistic for me :/
And also it's the same, I know I want to get better somewhere a little, but it's just too scary and I don't think I would ever be able to follow through with a diet plan or anything, it just doesn't seem realistic for me :/
hiya cassie, i feel the same as you. i don;t my eating disorder is as bad as yours. i started restricting two years ago when i was 16 but my mum noticed i wasn't eating and so i turned to purging as well. it used to be just a few times a week but now its more like a few times a day. i'm asking the same thing as you, what do i do? tho getting better ino is healthy, im scared of it. ino im not reali helping to answer your question but i thought u might like to know that ur not alone in what your feeling. have you ever used the site b-eat? i rang them and was so scared to say tht i had a problem out load i was shaking, but they were really nice and they weren't like pushin me to tell someone or get help, they just listened which was really nice just to be able to tell someone without them expecting anything. you could try givin them a call, if you don't want to phone you could try one to one chats on there site or group chats, if you havn't already i would really recommend just givin b-eat ago. xxx
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