Don't be ashamed. You are not alone. Hiding your secret is very normal. You need to forgive yourself. Ask youself ... why do you want to stop?
Stopping is very hard and does not happen overnight. You have to give it a while ... maybe even months. Getting rid of an ED (eating disorder) is a long hard journey.
But you do have to be sure that you believe deep in your heart that you really, really want to stop.
How often do the ED behaviors present themself?
Is bulima isolated or do you restrict your diet as well?
i'm ashaimed because no matter how skinny i am i still look fat in my eyes, i'm ashaimed because i lie to everyone and say theres nothing wrong, and i'm ashaimed that i can't stop even though i want to.
and my parents don't know...
Admitting and accepting that you have an eating disorder is quite powerful. There are many, many people who deny it for years. Do your mom and dad know?
i'm still ashaimed. i don't even know how to start stopping?
Well as a fellow bulimic/anorexic i can honestly say that your not alone. I'm only just discovereing myself how many of us there are out there. Not that i personally know anyone besides myself, but here on this website you can get a lot of support from people who have been were you are, and are headed, people who are finally recoving, and people who have just started with there struggle. I'm sure at some point we all felt ashamed to admit it, but here there is no judgment for having these problems, which is why i am so comfortable here.