Vietnam Vets, PTSD and Arthritic Conditions

[kaceygrace]

Hi,

My father is 64 years old, served in the Army in Vietnam 1970-71.. He lived my early years ( I am 32) with PTSD, but was functional, we had a very normal family... thats how I remember it anyway when I was young. Maybe my parents just hid his problems from me, looking back I guess thats a possibility...
anyway.. as the years went on, his emotional problems worsened.. If there was a thunder and lightening storm, he hid iin the bathroom, he slept with weapons under his bed, if you woke him up while he was sleeping, you were literally risking your life.., The list goes on, if you cut him in line at the grocery store, or if your name got called before his at the doctor, he got taken over by this rage, this "im going to kill you" look on his face. He had a scar on his chest, I remember asking him about it one day, and he told me never to ask me about it again... year after year, it got worse... in 1994 his physical heath started to decline, heart surgeries, bone density problems, joint problems...
In 2006 his physical pain got so bad, he could no longer drive, dress himself, many days my mother had to feed him. I had my daughter in March of 2006 and I had to hold her in front of his face as he was laying down because he couldn't even turn his head to see her..
his hands, shoulders, hips, knees, swollen.. his whole body was in revolt. It was burning up.. he would scream in pain.. he did eventually get 100% disability thry the VA.. although this is MENTAL disability, not physical... They have yet to admit after years of him dealing with this pain that is infact from the Agent Orange that he inhaled daily, while he lived in the jungle in Vietnam.. The doctors are calling his condition PMR..
All I want, my one wish, would be that my dad could hold a golf club again.. That was his escape.. his solace.. he hasnt been able to play in years. last time he tried to swing a club he dislocated his shoulder... his hands can not grip the club.. his life is pain, physical and mental... He does go to groups with other vets once a week, and he also volunteers at the VA in our state one day a week. He can barley get himself in his car to drive there, but he knows there are people worse off them him, and he goes and helps them, thru all his pain.
I am writing this, with hopes that someone will read this, that has a similar situation.. I just want to know there is hope for my dad.. I have my fingers crossed, that someone will find this, and maybe have some answers or advice for me...
thank you for taking the time to read this...

[jameslee42]

did the va ever put him on cholesterol  lowering drugs at the hospital. they are called statins. they did me and they destroyed my body. i have put in for compensation from va. these statin drugs do horrible things to a person. read The Horrors of Statins by Ingri Cassel. my e-mail is ***@****. give me a holler if they did. good luck.

[mindy1977]

I don't know about the email... Let me think about that one.  It would be great if he had someone to talk to, but I'm never quite sure what is going to set him off.  He has so much pent up from that war, it's awful.  

Where are you at (if you don't mind me asking).  I don't mind if you don't want to tell me, because I'll be honest with you, it's nice having someone to talk to who has a dad in the same boat as mine.  I've felt really isolated since I found out about his cancer and I have people around me, but none of them can really understand the frustration, etc. that goes along with all of this.

Definitely will have a beer for you dad (as soon as my surgery recovery is over).  Please tell him that I said hello and that I am proud of him and what he did for this country (if that won't offend him).  I am on a one person crusade to get better benefits for Agent Orange "victims" and your dad is now the second person on my list that I am fighting for.  I will get answers and I'll keep you posted on anything I hear.  The Department of Defense and President Obama will know my name before I'm through and I plan on seeing some sort of justice.

Like I said before, I really think you should have your dad re-evaluated.  There are a lot of things out there today that could help him, especially if the diagnosis is wrong.  I have a good feeling he'll be out on the greens before you know it, and when he is, I'll buy him a round of golf. :)  

This fight is not over, it's merely just beginning.  Golf and better benefits are just around the corner.  I can feel it.

[kaceygrace]

Hi!

My goal is to get him to play golf again. If he could do that, it would be amazing. a miracle really.. Im not going to stop looking for a treatment that will work for  him. There has to be something.. has to be...

Yes, please do have a beer for him! Thats awesome!

I feel so bad for your dad... do  you think he would email my dad? Or my dad could email him? Or would be be pissed he even knew you were talking about him?

[mindy1977]

I think if you can, you should get your dad re-evaluated.  I hope the VA is paying all his medical, if they aren't you can apply so they will be.  I completely know what you mean about wanting to do something for them.  My dad doesn't talk about the war, I think he'd rather forget it if he could.  I want to warn you too, there are a lot of kids of vets that are getting sick (most of them are cancer related) but you need to keep a close eye on your health and make sure that your regular doctor knows.  They are just now starting to pay out benefits to kids.  Originally it was just to kids whose moms were Vietnam Vets and then it was only for a couple of things, but they've pretty much had to face the music and admit the rates of Vietnam Vets kids coming down with certain things is considerably higher than those whose parents didn't serve.  
We're from Michigan, that's where he and I were both born and raised.  I wish my dad drank, lol, I think it might do him some good to just get wasted and let it all out for once.  There are a lot of support groups out there, but I have trust issues so I don't much get into them.  You don't have to thank me for caring, this subject is incredibly close to my heart and if I can do ANYTHING to help, please let me know.  Like I said, I have done SO much research and there is only so much I can do for my dad.
Pardon the language but it pisses me off that this is happening.  They shouldn't have ever sprayed that crap in the first place and now after they've already fought for their country, they have to spend the rest of their days in pain, fighting for what time they have left.  My dad called the VA and was asked if he was a Gulf war or Iraq war Veteran and when he said no that he was a Vietnam Vet, the woman said that they weren't dealing with Vietnam Vets right now and somebody would have to get back with him (needless to say, my dad went postal on her and ironically enough he retired from the post office lol).  It's just crap.  He's dying, he came home with a purple heart and bronze star and they killed him.  Good luck with your dad, he sounds like a fighter.  The next time I have a beer I'll have one for him (not like he's gone, just because I'll be thinking about him).  Please keep me posted (if you don't mind)

[kaceygrace]

Thank you so much for looking into that... He does get 100% disability for his PTSD, which is great, I just wish that there was something I could do for his physical pain. His bones are so brittle.. If he even takes the slightest fall, he breaks something. His shoulders just dislocate.. On bad days he grunts with every step he takes its so painful.. He has been such an amazing father thru all of this.. he has always been there for us, never let us down.. I just wish there was something I could do.. He has been on prendisone for years, which is so unhealthy- every time he tries to come off it, he is dibilitated.. cant even move.
I feel so bad for him.. all his friends going out golfing on the weekends, and he just sits at home.. and watches Fox News! Yells at the TV because he says he doesn't know what "these people" are talking about.. I'm sure your dad does the same thing..
The depression thats come with the PMR, or whatever it is- is hard to see.. If he does have a good day, which are few and far between- he will want to have a couple beers.. which turns into about 20.. then that stinks to see too. He just has no happiness.. none.
Thru all he deals with, he still reaches out people he was in the Army with and tries to help them, he goes to the VA once a week and volunteers with a vietnam vet that was shot in the head and is now paralized on one side.. my dad brings him his coffee and they talk.
anyway.. I'm not convienced that he does infact have "PMR" they diagnosed him with this 5 years ago, because thats all that made sense.. he also has major prostate issues, kidney issues, digestive issues.. the list goes on...
What do we do? Just sit and watch this happen to our Dads? I feel like there has to be something we can do. I dont' even care about the money, I just wish he could enjoy his life, his grandchildren... its so sad...

How is your dad doing? Does he ever talk to people he was in the service with? What part of the country was he from before he went into the Army?

Gosh.. there should be a support group for children of Vetrans! Dont'  you think? The stories we could share....

Thank you so much for caring- I will be thinking of your dad and I hope he is comfortable, and happy....

All the best....

[mindy1977]

Okay, PMR is a type of peripheral neuropathy.  Here is what the Department of Veterans Affairs VHA Handbook from the Veterans Health Administration says:

Peripheral neuropathy, transient acute and sub-acute (i.e., transient peripheral neuropathy
that appears within weeks or months of exposure and resolves within 2 years of date of onset)
(must manifest to a degree of 10 percent or more within 1 year after the last date of exposure to Agent Orange).

Now, I don't know if he'd be eligible for benefits, but given the history of PTSD and what not, I would sure try.  They fought for this country and now they are going to spend the rest of their days fighting for their lives.  

Here is the link to apply online (I don't know if you want it)
https://www.ebenefits.va.gov/ebenefits-portal/ebenefits.portal?_nfpb=true&_portlet.async=false&_pageLabel=ebenefits_myeb_vonapp1

Please let me know if I can do anything else to help.  I don't know how much longer I am going to get with my dad, but hopefully you'll get more than I do with yours.  Good Luck and I'm sorry this had to happen to your dad.  I'll let you know if I ever hear back from the Department of Justice and President Obama...  

[mindy1977]

I would love to talk to you.  My dad was in Vietnam at the height of the Agent Orange spraying.  He now has two kinds of cancer.  One they know for sure is caused by that horrible sh*t (pardon my expression), the other is on the "insufficient evidence" list.  There is a new list due out (published) this year (they come out every two years) and I am sure that either this list or the next will have my dad's other cancer on it too.  If it would be okay, I would like to re-post to you in a little while after I check my research (I have hundreds of hours invested in this) and I will check on PMR.  If you have your dad's service information or most of it, you can start the application process for benefits for Agent Orange.  Let me warn you ahead of time though, the benefits are a disgrace.  Have you ever heard of the Radiation Exposure Compensation Act?  It has something to do with people who worked for the Department of Energy here in the states doing mining or something (same time frame as Vietnam basically).  Well, they are getting cancers now and the Department of Justice is paying them $1 million each when they get sick.  The Vietnam Vets who are getting the SAME kinds of cancers from Agent Orange are getting like $2500 a month if they are lucky (that's the max benefit).  I will start checking my research and get back to you.  Finally I feel like I'm not alone (hope that doesn't offend you).