12 year old Grandson , Asperger's Anger issues

[Romy155]

My 12 year old grandson is getting into trouble at school and at home for fighting.  He loses his temper easily and is big for his age.  He will be a large strong man before long.  He has been taught ways of dealing with anger, but still feels like if someone does something to him, they must be "paid back".  The family fears he will be kicked out of school permanently if this keeps up.  We live in a very rural area with almost no resources to turn to. His parents have taken him to Kansas City and to St Louis to residential programs for evaluation on several occasions, but they have not offered anything except to confirm the diagnosis of Aspergers.  All these evaluations were done at the request of the public school he attends.  I think the school officials keep hoping for a different diagnosis, as they don't seem to want to accept that he even has Asperger's.  His parents are at a complete loss as to what to do next.  The Mother deals with him very strictly, and the Father trys to deal with him by talking things out, but is also rather leaving things up to the Mother.

The parents have considered a residential school for children like him, but can't find anything that is possible expense wise.  Are there residential schools that an average income family could afford to help deal with this situation?  The Mother, when things are at their worst has even said she is willing to turn him over to the state as she can't deal with it anymore.  I don't think she has said this in front of him.  

The child has 3 brothers and we are also worried about their safety, since he can get quite violent.  Once he used a baseball bat to try to beat a door down to get to his brother who had locked him out to get away from him.  Most of the time, he is a sweet child, but this violence has us very worried.   Please offer advice and/or recomendations to help this family.  

[Jessica L Thomason Sassi, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

Unfortunately, without information as to why he is engaging in this aggressive behavior, it is difficult to determine how to effectively reduce the behavior. In addition, I’m reluctant to give you any specific advice about trying to change his behavior, as it sounds like his behavior could be severe and it’s not unusual for changes in ways of dealing with problem behavior to result in at least initial increases in behavior severity or frequency.  

My recommendation would be to obtain some local professional help.
If he has a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome, then I presume that he is receiving special education services already.  Many schools provide structured behavioral support for students in special education, so you might try asking the school if they have a Behavior Analyst on their staff who might be able to help you address his behavior at home (or at least tell you how they are managing it at school, and how successful it has been).  If they do not have a qualified professional working on his case, and you are able to potentially pay out of pocket for additional help, my recommendation would be to locate a  Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) who has experience dealing with problem behavior and Asperger’s syndrome. The BACB website has a local service provider directory at http://www.bacb.com/consum_frame.html

Although different districts handle cases such as this differently, school districts are required to provide the least intrusive but most effective learning environment for students.  Sometimes this means students who cannot be served effectively in the home district are placed out in residential placements. If the school has referred him to residential programs for evaluation, it sounds as though they are anticipating this might be a necessary step for him, and in many cases school districts will pay part or all of the tuition for residential schools.  Again, however, each case is different.

Given the potentially complex nature of his case, an educational advocate might be helpful – advocates are individuals who are familiar with local school districts and special education services and can help families when it comes to negotiating with the school district on student services.   The Federation for Children with Special Needs can provide a referral for a local advocate (800- 331-0688).
Best of luck to you and your family

[rachel1955]

My grandson is 11 years old walks on his toes , pouts all the time when he does not get his way .   Does not want to do anything you tell him to do . Does not like loosing games , wearing his seat belt . He is very good at math,spelling. does very well in school academically.  Socially  when he interacts with his peers he talks about himself the whole time while they are together . During commercials he repeats them over and over again .  When he is really excited he seems to be having a conversation with himself does my grandson have Asperger's.

[rachel1955]

My grandson is 11 years old walks on his toes , pouts all the time when he does not get his way .   Does not want to do anything you tell him to do . Does not like loosing games , wearing his seat belt . He is very good at math,spelling. does very well in school academically.  Socially  when he interacts with his peers he talks about himself the whole time while they are together . During commercials he repeats them over and over again .  When he is really excited he seems to be having a conversation with himself does my grandson have Asperger's.