My 9 year old stepson tries to control us all at home. He seems completely unaware that he is being controlling or that people find this uncomfortable. Could he have Asperger's? Or is he just an only child reacting to a new stepmom? (Everyone assumes this).
He's upset if his dishes aren't placed properly. If I serve quiche with broccoli on the side instead of corn he's upset. He regularly chastises us like he is a teacher or parent. He is always trying to engage us in conversation or play--but he wants to entirely control the whole thing. So when he talks--it's a five minute monologue about the Bismark or the Titanic or his imaginary country (of which he is king).
He'll ask me a question, I'll begin answering, and then he'll interrupt my answer to talk to his dad about something totally unrelated.
When you play with him, he'll tell you how to hold the toy plane, or he'll tell you what he wants you to say and where he wants you to go. I made up an imaginary bird whispering secrets into my ear the other day. He killed my imaginary bird.. He seems very, very aware of many of his own feelings--just clueless about whether he's making other people comfortable or uncomfortable. He wants people to like him, play with him, and think he's special--but he seems to expect and demand this. Adults usually are charmed by has vivacious passions and smilingly go along with him.
Much of his conversation seems like "thinking out loud" - if you ask him to clarify --he'll get thrown, he'll accuse you of interrupting, and he'll act like you've totally made him "lose his place".
He has a lot of bedtime rituals he cannot skip without great discomfort (arranging the pillow symmetrically, testing the pillow, locking and unlocking the door 9 times and locking it to keep burglars out.)
The thing is--he's so verbal and talkative and bright--I feel like other people don't see any problems.
Could this just be his uncomfortable reaction to me as the new stepmom?