If your son is anything like me, there's a wide chasm between cognative/intellectual maturity and emotional maturity. (I suspect most auties share thisin comon)
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I realize that my upset was triggered by a minor thing... So not only am I feeling the orignal emotion but I feel *stupid* along with the initial feeling...
The mind tries to tell me, "you're not supposed to cry over this minor thing, can't you think of a better way to handle it than to waste energy crying?" I may or may not be trying to think of a coping solution.. For instance if it was an email or message I am expecting, I try to "tell" myself that maybe they are busy and have no time to reply."
That's logical. What isn't logical is I still am crying...
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Better strategy: Realize feelings are not logical! (read this over until it sinks in.) Trying to "think" my way out of a feeling just doesn't work... I'm better off to talk about it to another person. Emotions likely are better coped with on an emotional level than logic... Logic may help keep one from doing something foolish, but it can't stop the feeling altogether. I need to realise feelings are natural. It's natural to feel upset, lonely, rejected, embarrassed, angry, frustrated, hurt, and so on... When I realise that, I can stop thinking that it is a defect and rather go along with it. I feel a bit better realising what I'm feeling is okay, no matter how small the trigger. Chances are there's some deeper issue, but trying to search for it seems to be a frusrating process...
It seems most people deal with this same problem... I guess that's how therapists get their income, lol.
(BTW I'm not crying as I am posting this. I'm thankful I'm in a pretty good mood at the moment, but last week was rough...)
I'll add weather to the list of triggers... I noticed cold rainy days, rainy days, and sometimes before a storm event I may feel in an "off mood" or I may get a headache... Storms make me hyper oddly once the action starts happening...
That happens to me from time to time. :'(
Usual triggers:
feeling rejected
lonely
upset
alienated
frustrated (that I can't stop the feeling and the crying reaction!)
angry (yes anger can make me teary-eyed too.)
flashbacks of such memories of dealing with these feelings
Things that make me suseptable:
Feeling tired
suffering exhaustion
hunger
hormones... PMS
mood swing related to above or just random
getting out of an argument
dealing with bad news (may have a delayed effect)
time of day. I tend to feel more emotional around 2-3 am.
Around these times just about anything will set me off... especially on the internet. If I don't get an email I was expecting, a negative response on a forum, a troll attack... just about anything will make me feel rejected, angry, depressed, and so on...
The odd thing is it may not have much to do with the event... I may have had a big upsetting thing earlier in the day and dealt with it rather calmly and then something minor later that night set me off...
That I can't figure out... But it seems to happen to many people and I can't figure out why it happens to them either..
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If you noticed a lot of these seem to be very normal triggers and very normal feelings... The biggest frustration is a) identifying the feeling I am feeling b) how to cope with the feeling to make it stop...
I'm finding out much to my earlier dismay, there are feelings I can't cope with on my own.. Things like loneliness and rejection/dejection just can't be handled solo...
I used to get VERY angry with myself that I couldn't stop those feelings at will... Part of my flaw was assuming people could handle emotions and cease to feel at will.
No wonder why I wasn't getting anywhere, but frustrated and sometimes self abusive... I had unrealistic expectations! If so called "normal" people can't cope with certain feelings on their own, then why was I expecting to be superwomen?
Lesson learned: How do most people cope? They talk it out with someone they trust. Being autistic does not exempt me from these rules... Learning better coping strategies helps cut down on lots of the frustration. Self pitty is NOT the way to go... This is an ongoing learning process to catch myself and force myself out of such parties...
Other times I may find ways to distract myself. Getting involved in a task I enjoy, or something outside the original upsetting trigger sometimes helps.
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I hope this helps. I know what it's like to be stuck in such a mood.
Sometimes, when all else fails, I just have to weather the storm. Chances are by morning or the next day those feelings will pass.
My son has crying spells when the pollen and/or mold levels become high. These allergies cause chest pain among other things. It is tree season here in the east, so check out this possibility. Not everyone sneezes when allergic.
Eldermom
Are the crying fits when something happens eg. he is playing nicely then someone says 'its' time for dinner' and he has to leave his toy. Or is it when the TV is switched on/off. Or is it when he is doing something and someone talks to him. Try and watch him and then post back. Would you also say that the crying is 'out of proportion' to the incident that has happened.