I need information...

[2terrified]

I have a complicated situation. I just found out that my child's sibling has been diagnosed with mild autism. This child's way of coping and expressing is to hit or use hands. And when my child is there, it tends to be directed at them. I am trying to be understanding, but it is getting to the point where marks are left behind.  My question is, what rights to I have in this case to protect my child? They are only 2 years apart and I know that my child will sometimes do things to aggravate the situation.  But not always. What can I do? I am scared because I have heard that an autistic child or adult can seriously harm a person unintentionally.  And with my child being young...let's just say less than 8 years old, it is difficult for them to understand how to NOT "provoke" this autistic child (for lack of a better word). Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

[2terrified]

Yes, KarenDiane, you are correct.  They are aware.  But I don't know how much is lack of supervision. There are two more weeks with this visitation.  I'll see how it goes with the next one. I will keep checking back because I would like to learn as much as I can from people who experience this day to day.  This way I have an idea of what could be going on. Though, I do know each child is different.

[2terrified]

Thank you.  I forgot to mention this sibling has a different mother but I think you kind of figured that out. I appreciate your advice and will give it more thought.  I can't protect my child 24/7 and this is something that they will have to learn to handle also.  

[KarenDiane]

I assume that these kids are together when you are not there to supervise. Have you talked to the father or stepmother? If they are aware and it is still happening, then they aren't doing enough supervising. I don't know what kind of rights you would have in this situation. I imagine you could petition the courts for supervised visitation. Your child deserves to be protected.

[stupiddumbgirlwhoshouldaknewbetter]

Oh!  and have a care.  You can not imagine what it is like to have an autistic child.  It is relentless.  Support them all that you can because it is early days for them and they probably feel like lepers right now because they have no idea what the future will bring yet.  Your child can only benefit in the long term from having such a sibling because your child will learn all sorts of extra skills just like mine have.  My eldest is autistic and he is popular, clever and cool.  He is loved for what he is.  But I do think that it is important that the children are not forced to be together because that only causes stress and will result in your child being hurt (albeit superficially).  So there need to be separate spaces for the children to go and play in at times when it is not a good idea for them to be together.    

[stupiddumbgirlwhoshouldaknewbetter]

Oh no.  This is a tough one.  I have an autistic 9 year old who has 2 younger brothers and so I know how this plays out.  When the child is very young and non-verbal that child literally struggles to share space with other children.  Unfortunately, the whole thing just causes tension.  Of course your child will do things to aggravate the situation because your child expects its sibling to behave in a typical way and is frustrated that this is not happening.  Contact between the children should be limited and managed well frankly, if you have the luxury of the manpower this requires.  

An autistic child theoretically could cause harm to others but the most that ever happened with my children is that they got walloped/bitten.  No, it is not fun but there was nothing I could do about it unless I sent my son away.  Things are much, much better now and have been for a few years.  But he has his own space and so do they.  The boys come together when they want to and they have a great time.  

Give it time.  Give it your energy.  Allow the children plenty of time to be away from each other if you can so that they enjoy each other when they are together.