Sorry to hear about the hell you've been going through. I can relate, I was worse after I had my C6/7 done. It was pretty bad an I know exactly what you mean about the headaches, they were awful.
Like I said I was in pretty bad shape after surgery too, but you sound worse. What has your Surgeon told you about why your recovery been so rough?
Surgeons tend to think that they can look at a problem on a MRI, do the surgery, and everything turns out wonderful, unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.
Many of them don't understand when we complain about pain, they think everything should be fine. I've had a few surgeries and have had a bit of experience with this, and I know it's upsetting, but don't feel alone, many of us go through it.
You have so many different symptoms, have you had an post-op MRI? What type of procedure did you have exactly, a fusion, artifical disc replacement or something else?
What type of procedure does the Ortho want to do? I'm no doctor, but I can tell you that it's extremely unlikely that all that nerve pain you're having is coming from your shoulder.