nephew with asperger syndrome

[conman]

My question is what happens with a (14 yr. old) child with this syndrome if he doesn't get any specialized help? We're concerned that he'll wind up in jail or just truly lonely his adult life. A little background: this child had seizures as a toddler (mild but frightening to the family). He was diagnosed at one point with ADD and then sometime later there was the suggestion that he has asperger's. His parents didn't want Ritalin for their son. He has no friends. Nobody likes to be around him because he's disruptive, annoying, destructive, violent, etc. His parents were never disciplinarians and we can see that won't change now, especially because they're divorcing. Our hearts break for our nephew. He seems so lost in his own world (of nothing). He made a comment that he wishes he could be a blood vessel because he'd be on the inside rather than outside. What in the world does one make of that? He shows no emotions of any kind, which is a concern of ours. Although he has had school counselors, we don't see this child getting any other help in the future. Is it possible for him to get "therapy" by chatting on-line with other asperger syndrome children like himself? His grandfather thinks he should be taken from the home and put into some group home and that may teach him a lesson or two of life. I happen to disagree. He needs to talk to someone/confide in someone (like any child needs to) but he has/chooses no one. Can you steer us in a direction for him? Thank you for listening.

[conman]

I appreciate your response. Thank you for your time.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It will not help for him to chat on-line with people with a similar condition. However, help is available through mental health professionals. Most children and teens with Asperger's (a type of Pervasive Developmental Disorder) achieve some benefit from a combination of therapy (individual, group or both) and medication, along with special educational help if such is warranted. In cases when the condition is severe enough, group homes or residential treatment is useful, though this can be difficult to obtain due to the high cost. It's not so much a matter of 'teaching him a lesson' but of learning how to interact with people (not a strong point for person's with Asperger's). In the absence of help, there's no reason to think your nephew will prosper. He will likely continue to struggle.