9 year old girl w/ extreme separation anxiety

[Sandeeyo]

My boyfriend has 9 year-old twin girls.  I've noticed that although they are both emotional children, one girl in particular exhibits behavior that seems a bit extreme for someone of her age.  As an example, their mother took a 2-week vacation without them to a different state and then on to Europe.  The first night they called her and yelled and cried over why she didn't take them with her.  They made several calls to her the first night that lasted until after midnight.  They both were inconsolable for the entire weekend.  Everytime she called they went into hysterics and could barely talk to her throughout the first week. They were fine while they were at achool for the first week, but once they got home they were in tears which would go on intermittently all night long until bedtime.  At the end of the first week, one of the girls was still crying and a few times even tantrummed when we sent her to her room to cry in private (we could hear her stomping her feet, screaming, and throwing things). Anyway, just recently we had the girls for an overnight after they had been with their mom for 4 days straight.  Their mom called just before bedtime and they ran to get the phone.  After a few minutes I heard one of them crying.  Her explanation was that she missed her mommy so much.  She had just seen her mother that morning and was going to see her again the next day!  Is this normal behavior for nine year-old girls?  I raised a boy with special needs and I think the girls would benefit from some therapy because at an early age they were diagnosed autistic, although they are VERY high functioning children.  If they do have the disorder, it's a very mild case. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated!  As an aside, while their mom was away, my boyfriend took a day to himself and played golf while I stayed home with the girls.  They were complete angels the entire day.  But the behavior returned once he got home.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The behavior suggests that the girls should at least be evaluated for the presence of emotional disturbance. While the behavior is not alarming, it is also not to be reagrded as within the normal spectrum for children of that age.

[Sandeeyo]

Thank you, Dr. Kennedy.  I've broached the subject many times with my boyfriend.  The girls did the same with their mother when I started dating my boyfriend over a year ago.  They'd call him crying I want to come stay with you (when it was their mother's turn to have them), crying when they had to go with their mother, and recently it's the reverse although they haven't said no to spending time with their dad and me.  Hopefully your response will help me get the boyfriend to get the ball rolling on getting them evaluated.  They are both lovely girls and I'd like to see them not only healthy physically, but mentally as well.  Thanks again!