How can I help my 4 year old from not crying everytime I leave?

[lesanne35]

Hi, I have a healthy loveable four year old! He always enjoyed going to play with his nana, spending the night with her along with his aunt and uncle! Recently, out of nowhere he as become so attached to me that he is standing in front of my door saying he is not going to let me go? He also asks questions like, Mom are you going to come back? your going to pick me put up right mommy? right mommy? And I always answer of course Jacob I will be there! And by the time its time for me to leave he is crying really hard for me not to leave!!! Im a lil worried because he is starting school this monday! And he seems fine with it right now? But I am worried he will pitch a fit when i leave? Is there anything I can do to help him? I feel so guilty!  Thank You!

[lesanne35]

I have spoke with him privately, and he is fine just going thru what the dr said, I just needed reassurance. I asked my doctor as well and he said this happens a lot at this age.  Thank u, and I'm sorry for ur situation! God Bless

[autiemommy]

My grandfather died.

[autiemommy]

I would also talk with him privately...asking him why he doesn't like to be left alone at his Nana's house. I don't want to scare you, but there could be something else going on. As a child my mom left me with my grandpa a lot. I used to love going there, til he started touching me. I was afraid to tell my mom...so she assumed I was just having separation anxiety. Kids assume their parents would never believe them. Sadly, they are right. I still never told my mom, because I KNOW she would never believe me. This happened when I was 8. I am 25 now. People are not the way you think, so don't ever say "I know them & they would never do that". My mom and her dad were close. Him and I were close too, til he decided to take things further.

[lesanne35]

thank you :) I suppose this is just a phase? right? I just want to make the right decision!! Any tips on how I can help talk to him about it?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

All you can do is be patient and supportive. There is no need to feel guilty. Guilt is a feeling we have when we have done something wrong. You are not doing anything wrong. It's OK if he cries when you leave him at his pre-school. Just hand him over to the teachers and leave. Don't hesitate or dawdle - that will only make things worse. Once you are gone he will settle and be fine. This would not be unusual at all for a young child.