My 6-year old son killed his kitten

[Shuga Mamma]

We had a 2nd litter of kittens come about two weeks ago. They live in my 6-year old's room. My son only plays in his room right now but that is a whole other toppic. When I came home from work today and was walking up he met me at the stairs asking me to look at the kittten who lay limp in his hand. So I asked him if the kitten was dead, he replied no and gave me the kitten, who infact was dying. About 15 minutes after I replaced the kitten under the bed I came back up to check him and he was becomming cold. When I came down stairs with the kitten in my hand I HAD to tell both of my boys (the younger is 3) that socks had gone to heaven and my older son simply "lost it". Of course I consoled him but also talked to him about what he did to the cat. He was clearly playing with the kitten to rough which he amitted to. He is, for good reason, very upset and keeps reassuring me that he did realize that he would kill them by doing what he did. I told him that I understand that it was just an accident and that I wasn't mad at him just not to ever do it again and when he has his own kids why we don't play rough with any kind of baby.
When he keeps bringing it up which he hs already doing how do I respond? He is going to be upset about this for a while. How do I deal with his grief? Fortunately this is the first time as a mother that I've had to deal with grief with my children.  

[luvmyravens]

I agree, your son is showing remorse, which is so very important, if he didn't show remorse I would seek medical attention asap, but he did, so thats wonderful, However, since he was not supervised, I wonder if this was a true accident, Im sorry but you would have to be awfully rough to kill this kitten, If the kitten didn't die right away, as you say it took a little while, it sounds like internal injuries, and that could be from hitting the cat, or slamming the cat too hard. I would keep the communication open with him, as you are which is great. It just worries me that this kitten is dead from a 6 year old. Maybe move the kittens from his room if you can. Best of luck to you, glad to see that your taking care of it now. sounds like you have a kid w/ a conscious, thats good,He may be ok in the long run.

[tsnowe123]

I did not have time to read the comments before, and I will write some good examples of many insidence I know of the exact thing, but I have to say STOP WORRING, IT IS NORMAL, even adult animal lovers have admitted to killing a small animal when they were a child. it is out of curiosity, not hate, they just want to see what will happen... DON"T WORRY... much love and care!!! tsnowe123

[mom2rachie]

Children should not be left alone and unsupervised with animals at any time.  I'm not placing blame but they do play rough and next time it could be a dog that chooses to bite your child during rough play rather than a kitten who unfortunately died.
I would be a lot more worried if he did not feel remorse as that is sociopathic behavior but he did so that's a good sign.  If you meant what you wrote when you said that he admitted that he would kill the kitten the way he was playing with it, then I think he needs to be evaluated by a professional for hidden emotional issues but if it was a typo, then I think this incident was just a genuine accident.
I feel badly for both the kitten and the boy.

[Trinityb]

I can see why he is upset.  It is important with children to go through the process of grief and not try and stop it.  Answer questions if they arise even if they are repeatedly.  He understands that it was wrong that is why he is feeling bad.  I would be more worried if he had tried to cover it up and had shown no remorse.  He brought the kitty to you, said there was something wrong and openly admitted it.  If you think back to the first animal you had lost, it took a while to stop thinking about them.  We learn as we experience, and more so with the death of anything.  We just need to learn how to deal with it so we can handle it.  :o)

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is actually a good sign that he is bringing this up - it indicates that he is bothered by what occurred. Focus on drawing him out, asking about his thoughts, what he is feeling, etc. Ask him his ideas about how to prevent such a thing from occurring again. And, it goes without saying, be sure he does not have the opportunity to be alone with the othr kittens. He is young and requires supervision.

[jd1419]

Actually if the kitten is fairly young you can kill them by rough play--that is why you are not supposed handle them at that young of an age (kitten)  they are only supposed to be tended by the mom cat---it may be a good idea to let your son sleep in a different room until the kittens can be moved out or they get a little older and can be played with safely.  Also may be a good idea to have your older cat spayed (unless you are breeding the cat for resale)
But as he asks about the cat, have him draw out his feelings.  Did you bury the kitty in the yard--if you did maybe get a little memorial stone that your son could help pay for by chores and put it by the cat--that way he can go and visit and tell the kitty how sorry he is--but he will eventually grow out of it.

[RockRose]

Who was supervising your two children when this happened?  

From your post:

"He was clearly playing with the kitten to rough which he amitted to. He is, for good reason, very upset and keeps reassuring me that he did realize that he would kill them by doing what he did."

I have a feeling this was a freudian slip,  that you meant to say he didn't realize he'd kill the kitten.  But in reality,  he did.  Kittens are very very hardy creatures,  you can't kill them by playing with them roughly.  You really can't.

You need to realize that for some reason,  he killed this kitten.  And now he's remorseful that he did that.