Over-doting parents and obnoxious child!!!!! A cry for help from a desperate older sister

[luvahgil]

My brother, who is 4, is the most abusive little thing in this world. He has no discipline and does anything and everything he wants in this house. My family's Chinese, and apparently, Chinese men like sons over daughters. My dad lets him do everything he wants to do, and refuses to let anyone teach him manners. Now my brother's a spoiled brat. He punches&kicks everyone, blows raspberries at everyone, and throws things everywhere. You know how you're supposed to respect your elders? My brother kicks my grandparents all the time.
To me? It's the same thing. He pinches me, pulls my hair out (I have very long hair), and rips up my homework. Of course I get angry, but my dad yells at me whenever I yell at him. My brother's really abusive, but I can't do anything to stop his abuses because my dad protects after my brother hits me. No one is allowed to yell at him in my household, not even my mom. Is this ridiculous or what?
Today, he ran downstairs and pinched my arm really hard, his nails are really sharp and it literally broke my skin and it was swollen and everything. I was screaming because it was really painful, but he would not let go. I got frustrated and pinched him back. But my dad stormed down and roared at me. He said that what I did was child abuse and I could go to jail for it, but I was like what the heck, what he did wasn't abuse? He then struck me really hard on my head and told me that if I pinch him again I would be kicked out of my house. I was like, "how was that not child abuse?" My dad was like, "you're 18 now so it's not child abuse anymore"
What the heck is wrong with him? Help me!!! I hate my life.
I'm so glad to be out of here next year, but I don't want my brother to continue like this anymore. I see no future for him.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, you will not be letting your brother do anything. It's not about him - it's about you accepting the reality that you cannot change this situation. The family situation is dictated by your parents' behavior, not yours and not your brother's. As long as your parents have decided that they want to act the way they are acting, the situation will remain as it is. However, you are in charge of how you view the situation, and right now you are viewing it in a way that only serves to frustrate yourself. Don't let yourself be a victim of your parents' decisions about child rearing. While they are making some mistakes, within their limitations (personal, cultural) they are doing the best they can. Does it serve you well? No. But move beyond your frustration and disappointment and acknowledge (to yourself) that there are limitations to what you can do to change the family.

[luvahgil]

So I just let my brother rule the world?

I'm going to be gone this september actually (to college), but I don't want to seperate from the family just because of a pathetic kid. I've been in this family way longer than him, even though my parents like him better than me.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

As you can see, there really is nothing you can do to improve this situation. It is out of your hands, and that is unfortunate. But try not to leave home in a storm. Rather, do it in a planful, careful, deliberate manner, such as by going off to college if you are able.