Religion

[JOwl]

My daughter is 17 and she now strongly resists going to church with us. We've raised her in the Catholic church and feel strongly that she should go with us, even out of respect for her family, but she insists she doesn't believe in what the church is teaching. Should we force her to go to church every week? Is there a compromise we could offer?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is generally not prudent to force the issue. In fact, such an approach will likely result in your daughter's entrenching herself even more stringly in her beliefs and reject what you are offering. It will be helpful if you can speak with her openly and calmly, with respect for whjat she is going through, and express a curiosity in what she is thinking. This is a very normal adolescent experience as she begins to struggle with who she is and wha she believes. How you act will very much determine if she comes through this maintaining respect for you, even though she might not share some of your beliefs.

[ladybug26baby]

As someone who has been there done that, being the 17yr old forced to go to church, I wouldn't recommend it unless you want rebellion.  I strongly resented my parents for many years for making me go, when I was old enough to drive and move out on my own.  Why would you want to force your beliefs on someone?  Is she not responsible?  Is she not getting good grades?  Has she earned your respect?  Then why not let her make her own decisions?  She's going to have to sooner or later, she'll be moving out soon enough!

I still do not attend church but as a parent myself now, I send my kids to sunday school with their grandparents but will never force them to go.  My siblings, that were forced to go to church as well, are still religious people now, and continue to go to church regularly with their families.  So, there is a chance that your daughter will see the light and continue to go with you.  But, remember, just because she doesn't go to church, doesn't make her a bad person and she won't be going to hell for it!  Don't ruin your relationship now!