Troubled 6 year old boy!

[mammaneedshelp]

Hi, I have a beatiful 6 year old son and a daugher who is 7 years old. My son has been acting out for a while now, for about a year or so. We have him in counceling, but it seems to not be doing much. I have talked to the councelers about it and they say that they are making some progress, but I just dont see any at all. I was hoping I could get some additional suggestions as to what I could do. Let me tell you about him. He is active, rambuctious, fun, loving, caring, and usually a good boy, excet: he has begun to poop in his pants, lies,takling back, acting rude at the dinner table, breaking toys or things that dont belong to him, sneaks food (usually sweets) has got gaught stealing. I have tried everything, pull ups for the pooping. It was getting to be too much to clean up after it. and then I started to take his toys away becsuse he was playing with the bowel movements with his toys. It is discusting. He has been to the doctor and had test done on his bowels, there is nothing wrong with him. then for the lies, I could be holding a toy that he has broken or seen him do something and will point blank lie to my face. He has been talking back, I try to talk or work over it but it is getting to become a real upset for me and his father. I make dinner every night, I make sure they are getting the correct nutrients they need. But he will make rude gestured toward my cooking, (I know I am not a cheif but this is ridiculous) then when he refused to eat because he dont like what I am cooking I will tell him "this isnt a resturant, you will eat what I make or you will just not eat at all" and that will be the end of it. He will leave the table. But the next morning he will complain to his dad telling him that I wouldnt let him eat. It is really beging to get between me and my husband. His room is always a mess, he breaks his toys and he sneaks snacks up to his room. I dont know what eles to do. please help!! He will continue to see his councelers. Thank you in advanced.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son is displaying signs of serious emotional disturbance. On the behavior mamagement front, I suggest you read Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents. It will help you with limit setting, how to use rewards and punishments, etc. It is very useful. However, the solution to your son's difficulties goes beyond managing the behavior. You might consider obtaining a second opinion about his mental health diagnosis. Be honest with his therapist about this. Tell the therapist you intend to have your son evaluated by another clinician in order to have another viewpoint. Now, I am not saying to cease the treatment. This can be decided after you obtain another perspective.

[george73]

sound like he needs that counseling unless you aren't doing you discilplining right. Do you yell and scream at him? I hope not but that would have an adverse affect on him. Also I was wondering if you ever leave him in questionable company that maybe he has been sexually abused. We can't be to careful. Ask him. Tell him even if somebody told him not to tell that it is alright to tell you because you won't let anybody hurt him.

[j2wolf]

I have simallar problems with the behavior, he is the youngest of 3. They all have the same discipline, but the youngest will repeat the offence even after punishment. I have been consistent with the punishment as well. Found out he is extreamilly gifted. Many gifted children deal with things, including emotions differently. Sometimes they can not handle what they are feeling, they feel things in exstreme intensities, more so than some adults. I bet your son is gifted in some way, and needs help expressing his emotions.

[mammaneedshelp]

I dont yell at him nor do I spank or raise a hand to either one of my children. I would never think of doing this. I am usually calm about things. I just have gotten close to the end of my rope. I have never left my kids with anyone questionable. I am a stay at home mother since I first found out I was pregnant. And when my husband and I go out I leave my kids with my mother or my brother. I trust them completely. No one eles in my family has kids that act or do things like this. I am worried that he may not be getting all the help he could be getting. I need to do something so that I dont "yell" at him because I dont want to. I get so mad at me every time I  get so upset with him. I cry my self to sleep at night. Plus, not to mention, it causes some situations between my husband and I. We dont fight or agru and if we do, it is not infront of the kids. we try to be as careful as we can. The one thing that I dont understand is that he dont act like this at school. He is such a good boy. Maybe a bit roudy but not bad. I just dont understand, is there something wrong with me?
I appricate your help.