Young son is not listening and will not respond to rewards for good behavior

[woodcj]

I have a 5 year old son. He is in battle with my wife and I every day. He is repetedly told to listen and continues to ignore us at times and do his own thing. We have tried taking the approach of rewarding him for good behavior (ex. if he listens he will get play time, tv time, ect.) and he doesnt care to go along with this at all. Everyday is a argument with him and i dont know what to do. Even putting him to bed is a ongoing battle. We put him to bed around 8-9, sometimes earlier and all he does is jump around his room and run up and down the hallway sneaking around. We tell him he will lose things and it doesnt matter to him. I think the only route I have not gone is medical. What is the suggestions. This everyday battle of not listening, temper tantrums, and talking back is driving us both crazy. My wife is at home with him durring the day and is horrible, a little better with me but not by much.

[woodcj]

He started around 2. He speaks very well for his age, even when he was three he was going on and on. He is very smart i think but just doesnt want to listen. I am planning on bringing him to a dr sometime soon to see, in case there is something there. I never had him checked for any type of autism, he was premature at 7 months, but seems to be very smart and remembers a lot of things. I just want to find out why he is so against listening and following tasks.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Two things: first, be sure to have him evaluated by a pediatric behavioral health clinician, to rule out the presence of any neurointegrative (e.g., hyperactivity) or emotional condition; second, focus on the methods of behavior management you are utilizing. For an effective, tried-and-true behavior management approach, read Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents. It will provide you with a practical, effective approach to handling your son's behavior.

[ering]

I fear I will have the same problem with my 2 year old. How old was your kid when he started talking? Mine barely talks. I've had his hearing checked, but he hears fine. I fear my son may have a form of autism, have you ever checked into that? From what I hear, there are very many forms of it. Everyone tells me you can't diagnose until 4 years old. I try to get my son checked and they say he's too young to tell. I hope your endeavors with your child work out. I feel I am on the same road you are. -ering