male shyness

[mammy50]

I have a young toddler who is displaying shyness of male figure.   She starts crying everytime we enter a room filled with people and wants to be picked up and she especially reacts if a men enters the room that she is in.  She runs and starts crying.  The men can be a stranger to her or her relative whom she sees regularly.

How can I curb this behaviour before it gets out of hand and why is this behaviour happening?  She has never been disciplined or miss treated by a men.

[margypops]

Perhaps she is also in the company of Women more than men ? and is not too used to big ole Burly Hunks around., I knew a child a few years ago now who each time he saw a face of color yelled.it was usually in the street aswell, and even yelled when anyone was in a wheel chair,I think its possibly something that is unusual to them, as I say maybe she is used to having Females around.

[kittykatty]

it's interesting how acutely the little ones can spot gender differences. My 4 year old son from a young age (2?) far preferred to play with men - he would rush up to men he'd never met and try to begin his favourite games, or babble his early speech at them, much to their bemusement. I think he recognised them as 'one of his kind'.

My elder son once watched a very attractive bikini clad female lifeguard walk past us on our local (deserted) beach and then announced very loudly and clearly "Mummy - I think that is a man." Mortified - I told my husband who, unsurprisingly had noticed the lifeguard in question, and also pointed out that she had no waist and a rather boyish figure.

Be quite sure that there is no other issue in play with your daughter's aversion to men. She may just fear their strangeness and their difference to beloved mummy. xx kitty

[jdtm]

Mammy50 - you did not say how old your toddler is but I would like to mention one point.  The above behaviour is extremely common for children suffering from anxiety - the fear of "authority figures" often represented by the male.  Your child is very young and, in fact, over time her reaction may change and soften toward adults - but, if it does not, then anxiety might be the issue.  Just another thought.....

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Such shyness in a young child often appears spontaneously, with no apparent reason. Rather than try to curb it, I suggest you take it in stride, act in a matter-of-fact way about it and occasionally ask your daughter what her concern is about. But, in doing so, don't press the matter or interrogate her about it. Over time the reaction will change; it may well disappear the same way it began.