thank u so much for your help i will buy the book and looking into other places to get them the help that they need as well as me. I will update u soon and agian thank u
If you have other resources, get another opinion. You did the right thing, and that was excellent. Don't give up on getting the help. And be sure to read that book - from a behavior management perspective, you can't find anything better.
I have gone and got them counseling and they say that the oldest is ahad but doesnt need meds and the middle boy they say hes too young to tell and he will grow out of it and sent me on my way.
You are not going to correct this situation quickly. Without intending to, of course, you have let things get out of hand, and it is likely due to your needing some help with your parenting behavior. I won't attempt to try to give you a quick fix because there isn't one. You've got to bite the bullet and seek professional help in your area. The sort of plan you need is detailed in Lynn Clark's approach to behavior management. You can see it in his book SOS Help for Parents. But it is important that you not try to solve this on your own - your level of skills is not sufficient to get the job done. You can do better, but you've got to get help. If you children were very sick or injured, you wouldn't hesitate to obtain medical help right away. This is not different. I'm pleased that you wrote in, but you need to devote your energy to arranging face-to-face help.