verbally and emotionally abusive parents

[sherioya]

Since I can remember my parents have financially supported me, raised me with good morals, and has givin me practically everything I've ever wanted except sanity. Ignoring me for months at times, and calling me the same names year after year such as useless, a waste of breath and time, a basket with holes, senseless, stupid, should have never been born, nonsence.....the list goes on., when they see me cry I'm either told to shut up, or ignored....at least by my mother, my father religious as he is usually likes to sing about how good jesus has been to him while I openly sob, I cry louder and his voice increases in volume......the thing is my mother was physically and emotionally abused while growing up, when she's on her good side and I tell her how she is she says that her mother did worse, and that what she's doing isn't wrong.....as for my father I literally don't exist....I remember I used to run up to him when I was little when he came home from work.....everything ido seems to be an irritation to my parents who repeatedly tell me to get out of their life,so they can forget about me already.....as a fulltime college student the whole therapist thing isn't an option as I plan to go to graduate school soon. I forgotto mention in mymothers culture boys are treated better than girls, so usually when its my birthday or holidays I'm ignored but don't I dare not celebrate it for the male siblings of mine, one of which is 3 years younger than me. I am emotionally drained, depressed, and even attempted suicide once which led to more insults and me being ignored further.....I don't hate any of my parents or family members I just don't understand how someone can demean a human into feeling that there dead while still alive.....if not for christianity I would have lost it along time ago, as to the outside world I'm a smart, very athletic, happy, somewhat quiet,but outgoing kind funny person who brightens other peoples day. I don't know what to do anymore as day by day I feel my self being torn apart painfully. Help!

[BeeFree]

PS. Ignore the "Keep us" under my name. Accidentally copied and pasted something! ;-)

[BeeFree]

Hi Sheriova,

I don't know if this is the first time you've opened up about this on a forum, but I'm so glad you did. You might find thousands of people dealing with abusive families, and although this is a heartbreaking fact, at the very least you should know you are not alone.
My father was verbally and physically abused growing up, had a father who was an alcoholic, and a mother who walked around like a zombie, drowning in her antidepressants. Like any child, we grow up conditioned to our parents' way of life, how they deal with challenging situations, and tend to take on their most dominant insecurities--- not because we agree with it, but because we don't know any different. Only until we wake up and see how much different things can be can we make our own decisions. I am the very fortunate daughter who has never had a hand laid on her. Luckily, the abuse stopped at my father's generation. He swore he would never justify hitting his wife or children, no matter what he's been taught or how badly he might be feeling about himself. In your case, the abuse can stop at YOUR generation. You sound very intelligent and you know you don't deserve this kind of treatment at home. Me best advice is to research the nearest hotline you can call in your area that deals with abusive relationships, and try to work out the best plan of action. It would be best for there to be another adult present when confronting your parents about their behavior. You say there is no time to see a therapist regularly, but you've got to at least make time for your parents to have a meeting with one. They need to face the issues that they've been denying for so long, and learn how to maturely and appropriately handle future challenges, and most of all, show you unconditional love and support. In the mean time, avoid any triggers that might set them off, and hold your head up high knowing things will be different for you soon.


If you need anything else, don't hesitate to send me a message.

All the best,

Brittany
Keep us

[gymdandee]

You must know, what is being done to you  was done to your parents. It's a cycle that must stop with you. What you must do is go for therapy so it will stop with you.