Compulsive Dreams

[wierd14]

Having compulsive sex dreams - married for 20 years - great sex life with husband - compulsively thinking about sex with random guys - may have just seen in store or talked to.  Very violent and abusive situations - with me being the victim.  Any ideas on how to stop!!

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

I can understand this being disturbing.  Even if there was an easy way to shut them off (which there isn't), I suggest spending some time to figure out what the message is.  Why would your inner director/scriptwriter be going in this direction?  I would think about any situation in which anger and sexuality have crossed paths--yours or anyone else's.  It may be far from obvious, the 'moral of the story' may be buried under a few layers.  If your detective work is successful, it could really change your life for the better.

tg
http://grossbart.com

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

I am very sorry you have suffered so much abuse in your life.  It sounds like you are doing a very courageous and energetic job of working on things and really making serious progress.

tg


  

[wierd14]

Thank you for your insight- I have been going to therapy for over a year and know there is much in my past that contributed to this - unsure if its one exact incident or all combined.  I am very intune to my thinking and analyze continuously.  I think what is scariest is that fact I am so aware of these things.  Recently my thoughts have involved my therapist - I know its me wanting him to take control of our relationship, tell me I am bad  and help me -     I have told him much of my past - from molestation with tools as a child, exposure and fondling from older man as a young teen to forceable anal sex as a teenager.  I know sex has replaced my thoughts of being loved.  Its the one thing I think guys want from me and its the one thing i feel i can give and receive love.   I have little emotion and cry about stupid stuff - movies -  yet not when my father died.  ON meds for OCD, ADHD and anxiety - very productive worker, involved highly in PTO and other organizations - if people only knew my high functioning is a result of trying to escape by keeping busy.  Thanks again