Dementia Community
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862235 tn?1336063895

In Laws in Bad Shape

Both of my in-laws have cognitive problems. They both have vision that is impaired by glaucoma and cataracts. My father in law is much worse than his wife as far as comprehension goes. My wife took her mom for surgery yesterday to repair the cataracts in one eye. Today was to be her follow up exam. For reasons I do not comprehend, my mother in law goes to bed early in the morning (like 3:00 or 4:00) and sleeps most of the day. Today she was late for her follow-up with the surgeon. When my wife went to call on her her dad went crazy on her, yelling at her, saying they're old and dying and that she's bothering them in their final hours. He took a threatening stance with fists clenched and my wife was both hurt and scared by the outburst. Her dad has a bag on because he is not able to urinate and he often allows his bag to overflow. He constantly smells of urine and the whole apartment does as well. Neither of them do laundry and they both re-wear filthy clothes. They won't allow anyone to do their laundry or clean their place. They become furious with any suggestion that they should seek other living arrangements were they could receive the help that they need. Their son has turned his back on them and left his sister to undergo all of this alone. Does anyone have any suggestions?
1 Responses
585414 tn?1288944902
    Dementia can sometimes cause agitation and also interfere with the sleep wake cycle. There are specific medications to treat dementia such as Aricept and Namenda. However only a doctor would understand the clinical specifics of this. It would be worth seeing a gerontologist  about these concerns. A home attendant can often be helpful for an elderly person with dementia who is living at home so it would be worthwhile to find out about that and see how they could help. A social worker can sometimes work with a person along with a therapist to help them understand the need for the assistance.
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