Sexual Problems

[Barry]

I have always had a high sex drive, reading/watching pornography, active sex life(once with a prostitute), masturbation at least once a day and constantly looking for sexual turn on. My wife and I have two sons that are quite young and at best we have inadequate sex once a month.

My problem is obvious, but more recently I have become fascinated with anal sex, transsexuals as well as looking at a wide range of females for sex. I know that in reality I would be unlikely to follow up on these fantisies but I am concerned.

My youngest son has had a serious complaint since he was born and this has affected our sex life. However I can't say that I was much different before I got married.

I would very much like to regain control of my urges and get on with enjoying life can you help

[HFHS MD - RG]

Dear Barry,

The concept of sex addiction developed over the past two decades to refer to persons who compulsively seek out sexual experiences and whose behavior becomes impaired if they are unable to gratify their sexual impulses.

In the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 4th ed.) the term sex addiction is not used, nor is it a disorder that is universally recognized and accepted. Nevertheless, the phenomenon of a person whose entire life revolves around sex-seeking behavior and activities, who spends an excessive amount of time in such behavior, and who often tries to stop such behavior but is unable to do so is well known to clinicians.

Managing these impulses may come in the form of self-help groups such as Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), and Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA). The groups differ in that some are for men or women or for married persons or couples.

Insight -oriented psychotherapy may help some patients understand the dynamics of their behavioral patterns. Other types of therapy that may be helpful are cognitive/behavioral and marital therapies.

Certain medications have been proposed, but poorly studied for sexual compulsions. SSRI (serotonin specific reuptake inhibitor) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, and Celexa which reduce the libido in some persons may also help with compulsive sexual activity. Medroxyprogesterone acetate diminishes libido in men and thus enables the person better control sexually addictive behavior.

I suggest consulting a mental health professional for an evaluation.

Sincerely,

HFHS MD - RG

*KEYWORD: SEX

[Naomi]

I couldn't quite understand what your problem is exactly. Many people like "inadequate" sex such as anal, SM, bondage games and so forth. Masturbation once a day is as far as I know completely normal - even 2-3 times a day still considered normal for a guy.
It sounds to me that maybe you are not satisfied with the sex life you and you wife are having. Your urges sound completely normal. Remember: everything that makes two people enjoy each other bodies can never be obscene as long it doesn't harm anyone. I know this is sounds like a cliche especially coming from one who is probably a schizophrenic but I really believe that I am still right :)
There are many things you can do - and that will depend on your "do"s and "don't"s in relationships at a whole and in sexlife particularly. You can talk with your wife about your fantasies, keep on masturbating (as long as it doesn't interfiere with your everyday activities) or accomplish your fantasies with a prostitute or a friend.
Good Luck!

Naomi