Son diagnosed with post traumatic stress after witnessing suicide

[JayeJae]

About 3 years ago my son who is now 19 witnessed his best friends father put a gun to his head and kill himself. Needless to say this was a terrible tragedy that resulted in even more problems. Right under our very watchful eyes he spiraled out of control. He started down a path of very self destructive behavior. We lost all control of him and he would not listen to a word of advice nor submit to our authority in the area of going to see a therapist. He would hear nothing of it! About 1 year ago he completely totaled our vehicle at 5am by hitting a huge brick building head on them rolling over 3 times and coming to rest up side down. He proceeded to climb out of the vehicle and got into a truck with someone that brought him home. He came home and awoke his father and told him what had happened and then proceeded to hand him the phone with a police officer on it that he had called. This was a turning point. We told him he had only 2 options 1)walk into a therapists office on his own power or 2) we would make a phone call and he would be committed. He chose option #1. We were very very lucky to be referred to a wonderful counselor that was an Vietnam Veteran whom had lost both legs. He had just learned a new tecnique at a seminar in Washington DC to treat PTS. We found out that my son had been having nightmares since the terrible thing he witnessed and therefore was afraid to go to sleep so he took pills to keep him awake. We also found out that he was seeing this man while he was awake as well and the man would laugh at him and say things like I'm going to take you to hell with me. He has been in therapy for almost a year now. He is so much better I just cannot say how wonderful it is to have our son back. He has been released by his therapist. My worry is that this will all occur again. Is this possible? Does this one terrible incident in his life mean he will struggle with these issues his entire life? The nightmares stopped very shortly after he began therapy and he has never seen the man again either. Should I be worried? What should I watch for? He is nearly 20 now and is really just starting his life. He wants to go to school now and is working on that. Any advice or words of wisdom you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

[KittyMeghanLeah2]

why was he around "friends" like that?  Think which came first the chicken or the egg. Just a thought.

[Marcus61]

JayeJae,

My name is Marcus and I just joined this service recently.  I want to respond to the PTSD issue as it nearly killed me and I have some advice that may be helpful.  You're son may never lose the graphic memories but he can learn to manage the physical and emotional reactions.  I suffered from a series of post-trauma incidents related to a brothers suicide (which I viewed the results of) and a series of incidents over two decades as a peace officer. I was "tough" and needed no outside help. I turned to alcohol and was eventually forced into treatment through my "allergy".  I've been sober ever since but it did end my career.  Over the past two years I've had to re-examine the past traumas and aggressively pursue the little boogers.

There are several resources that are free and some take a few bucks.  I'm a real advocate of counseling as your son is experiencing "normal human reations to a highly abnormal event.  In other words, the emotions and intrusive thoughts are new and frightening.  I suggest both of you aggressively go after the fear...researching, discussing, and qualifing the new, strange feelings.  And remember, this is very hard on you too!.

I studied several articles by nationally known Jeffery Mitchell who specializes in public safety PTSD but I believe it applies to more individuals outside of the ranks.  I learned about arousal disorder, sleep disturbances, and the true definition of a flash back (it ain't as glamorous as hollywood has depicted).  There is also a newer therapy that uses stimulation on the eyes to interupt the memories (I have not ruled this out).

I wish you luck and feel free to email me directly ***@****

[Aruba417]

JayeJae, I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing so much better.  There are so many people who have gone through tragedies like your son's who have not had loved ones such as he does to help him - or force him - to get the help he needs. Being 24, I know the pains and sometimes embarassments of admitting to yourself that you need psychiatric help. But I also have a loving family that has helped me through it. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It sounds like he is over it and on his way in a very healthy way. It also sounds like if the nightmares do start again, he will tell you, or go back to the therapist...that is your insurance policy.  The only time he would be more vulnerable is when things are going bad for him in life...that's when a slight reoccurance could happen, and that's when you might be on more alert.