Violent Thoughts, Severe Anxiety, NO ANSWER.

[invisiblechild]

I am 14 years old and I'm going crazy. I have severe anxiety (already diagnosed) and depression (already diagnosed.) I get panic attacks at a noise and cry for no reason, the usual anxiety/depression stuff. I'm on Fluoxitine 60MG. Recently it's been getting much worse. I have very graphic thoughts of death and invision myself killing people. My thoughts or voices or whatever the hell they are tell me the satisfaction I would get if I slit someone's throat. I can actually see myself doing this. I don't want to, but the thoughts/voices tell me to. I think I may be bipolar or schizophrenic, possible schizoaffective mood disorder but my physchiatrist tells me it's just anxiety and depression. But it HAS to be more because these violent thoughts have nothing to do with anxiety/depression. It got so bad the other day my father took me to the ER and there's still no answer. I really just want to scream, to get all of this emotion out. Counseling, physchiatry, nothing works. I'm still a mental screw-up. My mom thinks its not that serious, that its normal or that I'm exagerating, but i'm not. It's so bad. I think I might want to die it's so bad, but I wouldn't kill myself because my anixety makes me too afraid of death. I don't know what to do. What do you think I could have? Please answer. Thanks.

[Jeremiah1964]

Please do not feel alone in this battle, i know exactly what you are going through!!! I know the looks you get when it takes over, i understand the confusion and fear. I have had this same issue since i was eleven and have started addressing it the last 2 years. DO NOT LET IT GET CONTROL!!! Take action now! Trust me when i say that it is a fury that can build and just let loose one day... I am now 23 and the pain started when i was eleven, it can be addresse. It is not easy in any way shape or form... I know the feeling of not being able to look at yourself in the mirror... This can be fixed!

[Jaquta]

Some of what you describe can be caused by extreme stress and anxiety.
(It is also possible to have psychotic features when severely depressed).

I think you need to trust your doctor (and the advice given to you by Dr Gould).

I think you need to step back, take a deep breath, relax and trust yourself and the doctors.

It sounds like you are beginning to feel very desperate.  Talk to your parents.
Also when we're scared it can help to be around others or do things that distract us.

Hang in there.  This will pass.  Maybe not in the next hour or day but it does get better.  Sometimes things can even be better after it than before.  You can do this!

Take care
J

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Stick with your psychiatrist and try to understand what is happening...and at times like today, show your mother what you wrote here so she understands, and your dad,..and make sure you get the help you need .  It won't always be like this....you write well which means you can think well...and thinking clearly is what will get you out of this...it's especically important to understand your anger and talk it through with your psychiatrist.

[invisiblechild]

Also, sometimes I just get into this daze. I don't think or anything, I'm just there. I can picture everyone dead and my mind thinks its a good think. I'm also very paranoid, always thinking someone is watching me or everyone hates me and such. I'm scared...