First of all, thank you for taking my question.
So, I've had this coming-and-going fear regarding my speech, that started a little over a year ago. When I've stopped worrying about it, I laugh at how silly it seemed; when I've started worrying about it again, I principally worry that I have some sort of chronic, incurable neurodegenerative disease or something. It's awful.
As I said, this first started a little over a year ago, when I tripped over a word. It just blossomed from there. It's so awful. I started worrying about tripping over words, and then it happened more, because I worried about it.
Then I started getting muscle twitches, and I started worrying about those, and so of course those got worse. Then I started worrying that I had some terrible disease like MS or Parkinsons or something (even writing it out now makes me nervous!).
After a while, I'll realize I don't have a terrible disease, and then the fears will go away. Then they come back in some new flavor; some new aspect that gives my brain something logical to latch onto -- like, no matter how remote, this new thing "might mean" I have some awful illness.
Lately it's come back, even though I've defeated it so many times, and I hate it so much. The new variant is that I worry about my typing: I worry that maybe I'm not as good at it anymore (out of the blue, of course!), and that my brain is messed up, and I can't form words correctly anymore. I don't even think there's a disease that causes any of these symptoms! And yet I worry....
I did have a full physical last fall, and everything was fine -- though I didn't mention these worries specifically, because I was embarrassed about them.
Rationally, I realize that this is all probably just in my head, and that I'm paying conscious awareness to things that are unconscious processes, and that's what's screwing things up. But I'd like some reassurance. Do you think this is all in my head?
Thanks so much :)