mother on Prozac

[dml1125]

Hi, I need some suggestions on how to talk to my mother who recently started taking Prozac. The medication is obviously working because she is ultra happy and bubbly. Prior to the prozac, she would cry and cry on the phone with little explaination. I am unsure how to handle both personalities. My mother was never a very bubbly person. I am having trouble responding to the COMPLETELY different person she has become. I feel like I need a support group to vent my frustrations about this. Maybe just another person who is going through the same thing. I want to be there for her, but I struggle to identify with this different woman.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You should relate to her straight, not play to the bubbles or the tears, but straight about reality.  Have patience, the bubbly personality will calm down soon.

[Jaquta]

Ultimately she is the same woman.  
Doctors always tell patients that medications don't change their personalities.

I think you need to be honest and tell your mother how you feel.  Perhaps tell her how confused you feel by her behavior (which is illness related) and ask about ways you can best support her and her recovery.  Don't judge her or her behavior.  The worst thing you could possibly do is to deny or avoid feelings and to alienate your mother.  Take responsibility for how you feel though so she doesn't become burdened by your feelings.

I think if you're open and honest and empathetic at each moment you can't go far wrong.

I expect there are depression support groups in your area (assuming she is depressed).  Perhaps you could attend one together.  That could also help with barriers and stimulate conversation.

I don't know how helpful this is.  I hope you're able to find something that will stimulate conversation and enrich your relationship.

J

[Jaquta]

It is your mother's issue, not yours.  Do not regret, feel guilty or resent choices you have made.  You need to live your own life.
Again, it is not your issue.  This is something she needs to work out for herself.

I think it would be inappropriate to phone her T, unless she gives you her permission first.

If you have strong personal boundaries you'll be fine.
I understand it's difficult but you do not need to rescue your mother.  Doing so would be counter-productive for both of you.  She needs to process stuff herself in order to move forward.

Support yes, rescue, no.

Counseling sounds like it could be a good idea when you have the opportunity if you feel you still need it.

Good luck with everything
J

[dml1125]

I guess the real question and issue is that my mother's depression seems like empty nest syndrome to me. Her whole life revolved around my activities and accomplishments. I recently moved across the country for graduate school and personal-life opportunities. Making this new place my permanent home appears to be a big issue. Her depression really came to the surface during this time. I am not sure how to handle the empty nest issues. How far do I go to help her out? She is talking to a therapist, which is great. Can I call him to get advice on how to handle my phone conversations with my mother or is that out of line? I get free counsiling once I start school in the fall. I am looking forward to talking about our relationship with someone so that I do not develop resentment.