Plz help me

[archa]

i am totally depressed. i had a boy frnd for almost 2 and half years but from past 9 months he justs finds a new reson to fight with me every day. he has changed a lot.i try my level best to tell me that wat i am doing is rite for eg.he does not like me taking to many ppl. i was never brought up wit that idea .so i had to conveince a lot.well nw he has agrred but it almost tuk more than 4 months.i abuses me a lot. i keep beging him to have some mercy on me.but he absolutely does not care.i care for some luv and care.infact i have tld him tatz wat i came into this relationship.but he says he will be the way he wants and he wuld treat me the way he wants.i am a very jolly fun luving gal.i was always a center of attratcion in any frnz party.ppl like me for my frienliness.but he cant take me anymore being like that.after a fight whenever i try to conince he abuses me a lot.i end up crying for hours togeter.i had even tot abt ending my life cople of times.i simply luv him and care a lot.but he does not realise that.if i try to tell me that i have done my best to let this relationship work he abuses me again.i am too depressed.as itz my first ever relationship am not able to get out of it.i knw i truely luv him aftr all this but he does not realise that.because of all these juggles am not able to give my best in any interview.am a computer science graduate luking for a job.all these things have totally broken me .i am really in need of a job but this thing does not get out of my mind.plz plz help me. give me some sugessions

[zack32]

Sounds to me like you need to get out while you can. He sounds like an abuser to me and you do not have to stand for that. I know it will not be easy but I can't urge you enough to get out of this abusive relationship. Have you ever watched T.V. shows of women being abused by men they thought they loved. Love does not cause a man to abuse a woman. In fact many times at the beginning of a relationship the abuser seems like the best person in the world, but they turn out to be losers. IT IS NOT OK TO BE TREATED THIS WAY.
IT IS OK TO GET HELP!!! he may need much counseling himself depending on what his past experiences are.
I am not a doctor but I do hope you get the much needed help you deserve.

[kjtz]

Please please please find the confidence in yourself to leave this relationship!  Trust someone who knows....it won't change!  And you are better than that and deserve better than that.  Are u sure that it's love that you feel or are you scared of being without someone?  You can make it without scum.....I don't know you at all but I hear your pain and I know that you have a heart---your so called boyfriend doesnt.   Let him go....soon...you'll be all the better for it.

[zack32]

It is very hard to come to terms with the fact that someone you love doesn't love you back. Don't expect that you can change a person's feelings. If you do that know it will only be harder down the road. It is best to cut your loses and move on. Years from now it will be a distant memory. If you try to stick it out you will have nothing but heartache for years. The few good days do not make up for the bad ones. So you deserve to find a person who is going to love you as much as you love him. Do that now rather than later and you will be much happier for it.

[archa]

tahnk u both for ur advaice.well it so happend that i myself patched with him jst a few days bak.i guess he was nice to to me for 4 to 5 days,and again it all started.last nite i was expecting his call.i really like to tak to him before i get to bed.it so happend he dozzed off and i kept calling him for a long time.nxt morning when he called me up i was mad at him.probably if he had tls he was tired and went to sleep then i wuld had calmed down.but he started telling me that i dnt give him the freedom and all sought of things.he hurt me a lot.but didnt ever apolozise me .so i called him up again but it startrd wit a lot of arguments.and nw he tld me that i will have to bear sumthings if i want him.he said that because itz ME who wants him I have to make a lot of compromises.I jst dnt knw Y he acts like that.I have been trying to reach him from the moment he banged the phone over me.but itz switchd off.I feel very upset.isnt it normal for gals to expect sum kind of courtesy and sum sweet words.i feel totally broken. i knw that I dnt wanna spend rest of my life convincing him.But I cant forget the fact I LUV HIM.and itz so unfortunate that he does not feel it anymore.:-(

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You have already received some very good advice and that is that you should not tolerate being abused. Apparently you do not want to give up on your boyfriend but is that realistic. It is hard to believe that you could continue to love somebody in the best sense of that word when you describe this behavior. Perhaps it is not love that keeps you there but a refusal to admit defeat because you have been so well-liked before by others. It also seems as if your boyfriend has control of your self-esteem and can make you feel worthless and lose confidence in yourself. That is a big problem and that is what you must focus on in order to come to grips with the reality of your situation and make a wise choice for yourself. You should seek counseling.