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940642 tn?1336063511

Looking for creative ideas about divorce and the house

Does anyone have any creative ideas about how I can let my wife stay in the house and I can move out without her paying me for it right away?

We are on friendly terms, but I can see that she doesnt want to sell in a down market (which makes sense) plus her discomfort of leaving the house that we put so much into is causing a big problem.

Perhaps I can pay a portion of the mortgage instead of alimony and then when it is time to sell some years later I can get that portion which I paid in mortgage back from the sale?

Has anyone tried this or any other ideas and do they work or does it turn into a disaster?
10 Responses
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Avatar universal
i did not know that one could get alimony why does she get it  i am serious as to the other i have no idea  luck  jo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My fiance pays his ex-wife alimony to assist her in paying the mortgage in the home for the sake of the children. He has agreed to pay a set amount for 3 years to get her on her feet (in addition to child support). This can be agreed upon by you and your ex-wife and put into legal documentation by your lawyers. This way you are paying a portion of the mortgage and also getting credit for the alimony. Good Luck
Helpful - 0
694885 tn?1232649948
You guys can make any agreement you want just so long as you both agree. Once you do make the agreement it will pretty much be set in stone so be careful. You have to think about things like will it bother you if another man moves in with her? will you still want to be paying half the mortgage?
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Avatar universal
I always thought one should pay child support, i do not beleive that is the same as alimony is it  i thought alimony was for a wife only  who knows  i could never get child support, but that wa many long years ago and things have changed  jo
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Alimony and child support are separate in the courts.  She could get both if the child stays with her.  Child support goes to the parent but is supposed to be used for the expenses of the child.  Alimony is for the wife or husband if they have grown accustomed to a lifestyle that they can't afford on their own.  For example, my friend was a SAHM for 4 years and her husband is an VP at a huge company.  They own a house and cars and she relied on him for support and to pay the bills and mortgage.  So if they were to divorce, he would have to keep her afloat until she can get a job where she can support herself.
Helpful - 0
1199874 tn?1265332862
I am leaving and leaving!!!!! I forgave twice already and each time he is so mean is because something is going on again. Last time when i went to see my mother (she almost die) i asked him to go with me, support me and be with me in such a pain situation, he did not go, instead he went on vacation and drove 3000miles to see the woman he loves.
Find out he bought two computers, send money and buys staff for her.
What YALL will do if all this plus he comes home and fight for everything he sees or i do?
I have e mail and text messages that i can prooved is reall, but all this messages are old, mean not for now, what a lawyer would do? I do not know what to do, please help.
I need to change my life i can not live this situation anymore. HELP
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
What else can you do other than leave him.  If he's in love with someone else and has not only cheated once but is continuing to cheat than it's time to move on and live your life.  I can understand forgiving for it once and trying to rebuild your relationship but allowing someone to continually behave this way is not a life.  Go see a lawyer and start looking at getting a divorce.  You need to be with a man who loves you and respects you.  If he cheated and was remorseful and regretful and did everything in his power to make it up to you than I would say stay and work it out but you've forgiven him too many times.  Good luck.
Helpful - 0
599170 tn?1300973893
How about you pay house payment one month and she pays all utilites same month...next month switch...house payment her...utilities you. would that work?

and all of above are right...alimony and child support are off the table for negotations.
Helpful - 0
599170 tn?1300973893
from what I have learned in my journey down divorce lane atleast in MI   length of marriage matters as far as alimony..short term 5 or less likely not ( unless mega rich llike above said)  5-10 years is medium term marriage   10 plus is long term the longer the better for alimony 20 years for me and the alimony will be a nice monthly check for 8.5 years  
Helpful - 0
1176211 tn?1264038680
Does it depend on which state you are divorcing in?

You can definitely get creative.  Does she eventually want to sell, or does she have an interest in staying in it? (if financially that is an option).  But, no matter what you decide on, please please get everything down in writing, with all of the what if this and what if that.  If you do not put any timeline on it, she (or you) can put the other ones life on hold.  Even if you are best friends, if and when one or the other of you change, whether it be a new relationship, marriage or child, you never can predict what might set the other on destructo mode.  If the goal is to ride out the financial storm, you can set up something not to exceed X number of years and at that time you reserve the right to...whatever - sell, transfer.  The other issue is setting a value on the property, like if you both agree to sell, but then one or the other holds out for an unreasonable value.  Also, in PA, anyway - even if you pay spousal support, once the person moves in with another person, the alimony is defunct.  So, my advice (speaking of someone burned by a house sale, I just wanted out at the end and to preserve my credit. Once I started being happy with a new person, then the jelousy and such started)  is to be very clear and careful and think ahead to every possible situation to put it in writing a fair price at the time of seperation, a fair listing price now and a time frame, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Best of luck!   Oh, my grandmother lives in Nuthall, England, is at least one hundred and still going strong! Great that you could visit with her!

Carly
Helpful - 0
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